(posting here because AskMensRights seems dead) What are MRA's thoughts on "The Will to Change" by bell hooks?

iainmf · 2015-02-06T21:14:18+00:00

The Will to Change: Men, Masculinity, and Love. Everyone needs to love and be loved -- even men. But to know love, men must be able to look at the ways that patriarchal culture keeps them from knowing themselves, from being in touch with their feelings, from loving. In The Will to Change, bell hooks gets to the heart of the matter and shows men how to express the emotions that are a fundamental part of who they are -- whatever their age, marital status, ethnicity, or sexual orientation. With trademark candor and fierce intelligence, hooks addresses the most common concerns of men, such as fear of intimacy and loss of their patriarchal place in society, in new and challenging ways. She believes men can find the way to spiritual unity by getting back in touch with the emotionally open part of themselves -- and lay claim to the rich and rewarding inner lives that have historically been the exclusive province of women. A brave and astonishing work, The Will to Change is designed to help men reclaim the best part of themselves.

From the blurb, it's sounds like Hooks has the assumption that the only way to be an emotionally healthy adult is to express oneself like a woman, and that men are somehow broken because they don't.

Hooks also blames patriarchal culture, but that seems wrong to me. Men used to be able to have men's clubs/organizations/places where they could express themselves and get emotional support from each other in masculine ways. Those places are disappearing under pressure to be inclusive of women. In other words, men's self-knowledge, emotional support and 'inner lives' have been reduced as 'patriarchy' is reduced.

I would also argue that men's concerns are not fear of intimacy and loss of patriarchal place, but instead the fear of being rejected or ignored when expressing emotions, and the loss of respect in the eyes of their wife/girlfriend/etc.

MRSPArchiver · 2015-02-06T19:44:17+00:00

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genderbent · 2015-02-06T20:58:14+00:00

bell hooks is a great writer, and her prose illuminates a viewpoint of deep compassion and intelligence. i actually like her work a lot, although that's not quite the same as saying i agree with it. to me, intersectionality is kind of putting the cart before the horse, explaining material inequalities by way of social inequalities. to this radical lefty's eyes, the opposite is true - we treat groups in society poorly because we want things from them, things of material value like land and labour. still, while i may not agree with hooks' analysis of privilege, at least she's using the concept for analysis instead of rhetoric. all too often, it's used as a cudgel to silence dissent, and it's sad to think how refreshing it is to see it used in a more inquisitive and humane manner.

aesopstortoise · 2015-02-06T21:25:41+00:00

Thanks for bringing this author to my attention, the book looks interesting but I don't know if I can cope with so much patriarchy theory. Just looking at the preview pages on Amazon it's getting multiple mentions on every page. And this is problematical for me, it's exactly like listening to an evangelical Christian going on and on about Jesus, God, the Devil, sin, etc. After a while I know that the person I am listening to is not asking real questions because they believe they have 'The Answer', the great big answer to Life, The Universe, and Everything.

Meaningful communication becomes almost impossible because I am one kind or other of pew fodder, a potential convert or potentially damned. Believers tend to live in a world of binary oppositions and they are always on the side of 'right', 'good' and 'the truth'. I was brought up with Christianity, it provided an explanation for everything, and I cannot see that feminism does anything different. Even the title, The Will to Change, has a believer's ring to it, men must change, they have to be saved from patriarchy and their own patriarchal desires.

I cannot imagine, these days, in my decades long post Christian existence, ever initiating a conversation with someone, based entirely on the idea that they are wrong and I have the cure for their wrongness, that they must listen to me so that I can help them reshape themselves to fit my ideals. Maybe I will read her work sometime, but I'm not in a hurry.

yelirbear · 2015-02-06T19:56:05+00:00

I haven't read it but I know Bell Hooks is well respected and quoted among feminists so I would be very interested to read it.

Have you read it? If so, what is something that stood out to you the most?

WorkshopX · 2015-02-08T16:08:58+00:00

I have not read this particular bell hooks book, though I have read some of her essays. I will say that the blurb you posted feels, for lack of a better word, patronizing.

I have a honest question for you though. Patriarchy is defined, at it's base, as a society, government or community lead by men. Why is that, in an over itself, a bad thing. I would think that all broken societies, governments or communities happen, no simply because of the gender of their leaders, but the actions, need, pasts and intentions of the leaders in charge. While no one gender should dominate any system of government, to say the problems of society are due only to the gender of those leaders seems like a faulty base to beginning with.

paracog · 2015-02-06T20:08:40+00:00

Oh, so success in this endeavor would be a sort of "Triumph of the Will?" The stupendously fuckheaded assumption that men as a class are wrong and need to be fixed should be laughed at. Saying patriarchal culture should be changed is saying that one end of the magnet should have its charge altered.

Title	(posting here because AskMensRights seems dead) What are MRA's thoughts on "The Will to Change" by bell hooks?
Author	[deleted]
Upvotes	1
Comments	31
Date	February 6, 2015 7:43 PM UTC (11 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/MensRights
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/MensRights/comments/2v0lst/posting_here_because_askmensrights_seems_dead/
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