So, what do?

BlindPelican · 2014-02-11T04:22:37+00:00

This might be more appropriate in an advice sub, but seems to me you do just what you have been doing and keep being a good parent.

Eventually we all must learn the basic human lesson: we can't control others, we can only control ourselves.

rhunex · 2014-02-11T04:47:51+00:00

You can't force someone to be a good/supportive parent. Don't close the channel between mother and child, but don't force it on either of them.

Unfortunately, or perhaps fortunately, it'll be your responsibility to answer the questions your child will have as they grow older: "where is mommy?" "can I see her?" "can I talk to her?" etc. I would suggest approaching these questions with as little malice as possible.

Let the child come to their own conclusion, and keep the two in contact unless it endangers the well being of the child. In a best-case scenario, the mother will change her mind and want to be supportive and active in their child's life. If/when that happens, she should at least have a chance to make things right.

You didn't mention your feelings at all, but if you feel animosity towards your ex, try to keep that separated from your day-to-day with your child. When they're old enough, you can use your children as emotional/mental support, but it may give the wrong impression to a little one who doesn't really understand everything that's going on. That's not to say you should bottle it up, just keep it away from the little one when possible.

oneiorosgrip · 2014-02-11T13:25:23+00:00

Trying to force a relationship will only result in shoving in the kid's face the fact that the other parent doesn't want to be there. That's a bad thing. You can't force someone to take care of their kid, to invest themselves emotionally or intellectually, or anything. You could go after the money, but it sounds like doing that wouldn't really be of any value to you or the kid, either. The best thing you can do is be the best parent you can be, show the child that he or she has your love, and your focus, and don't try to control what the other parent does. Trying to control another adult will only lead to heartache for you and your child.

rightsbot · 2014-02-11T03:54:16+00:00

Post text automatically copied here. (Why?) (Report a problem.)

theozoph · 2014-02-11T17:09:56+00:00

WARNING :

This is bait. The story is gender-neutral, to the point where any mention of the ex-spouse uses "they" to mislead the reader into assuming it's a woman, hopefully so MRA's will advise OP (who'll later reveal she's actually a WOMAN, HAHA!) to go after the shitty ex for alimony, and therefore to reveal how biased MRA's are, hypocrites, and so on ad nauseam.

Just boot this shit out of the sub.

TL;DR : OP is running a con ; downvote, report.

SRSLovesGawker · 2014-02-11T04:50:26+00:00

What? Shut up! Pay what you're supposed to pay, love your kid. In a very few years they'll repay your love. The law is a gross instrument - do what is moral, forget the law. Stay close to your child. He/she will be the one who loves you when you are older. This is the most important relationship you'll ever have. Don't blow it with stupid resentment over a few bucks.

Title	So, what do?
Author	FragDefrag
Upvotes	0
Comments	9
Date	February 11, 2014 3:52 AM UTC (12 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/MensRights
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/mensrights/comments/1xl06w/so-what-do/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/MensRights/so-what-do.1614561 https://theredarchive.com/post/1614561

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