Link here. My thoughts on being the biological, non-custodial Dad and knowing that his kids call their step-father "Dad" too.

Read below:

I had grown used to being referred to as “Mom? er… [step-father's name]? er… Dad?” after the divorce because they had three parents (my self, their mother and their step-father) and I know that it is sometimes hard to keep track. I don’t remember the exact date that “the incident” occurred, but I was picking them up from their mothers and their ritual of exchanging hugs and kisses with pretty much every member of the family (their step-brother and -sister just got hugs, but step-dad and mom got smooches) and as they were waving good-bye they shouted out the window of my car:

“Bye, Dad!”

I felt a cold tightness in my chest as my worst fear was realized; I was being replaced. How dare my ex-wife allow my sons to call that guy “Dad”. That’s bull! That’s tripe! That’s something that I was going to have to sit down and have a serious talk about. I was angry, I was upset and I tried not to let it show but I must have left my poker face at home because my oldest asked me what was wrong.

I told him that it was nothing; Daddy wasn’t feeling well from earlier and changed the subject to what they wanted for dinner that evening.

Fast forward to a month or so ago.

I will, hopefully, eventually be the step-father of an awesome, if incredibly shy, boy provided my girlfriend decides that she can put up with me “till death do us part” (most likely MY death, but hey) . My girlfriend’s son, we’ll call him “H” for simplicity’s sake, didn’t say any more than two words to me when we first started hanging out. We don’t have a huge amount in common, as I’m more of the “wrestle on the floor” kind of guy and he is anything but physical. Since then he’s started showing me things and talking to me on a semi-regular basis and we manage to hold conversations. I’ve even taught him a few ways to annoy his mother. He hasn’t called me “Dad” yet but nothing would make me happier.

That’s when it hit me; “Dad” isn’t just a biological moniker. It’s a title that is given when you earn the trust, admiration and respect of a child, be it one that you are related to by biology or marriage or just because you’re the new boyfriend that is fixin’ to marry their mother (after a suitable time has passed and you’ve earned the approval of said child, should they be old enough to approve of you). Being called “Dad” means that the child looks up to you as a father figure and relies on you for guidance, support and structure. Being called “Dad” means that you are an influence in their lives, a positive influence.

I never called any of my step-parents “mom” or “dad”; I didn’t have that connection with them. Given, I was a teenager for some of it and hated the world, but even when I was younger I was always standing off to the side and resented my step-parents when they tried to involve themselves in my lives. I didn’t trust them, I certainly didn’t respect them (see previous sentence about being a teenager) and I really only resented their presence for one reason or another. I know that “Dad” is not easily earned.

That means that my ex-wife’s husband has earned the trust, respect and admiration of my boys. They look up to him for structure, guidance and support. I’m not being replaced as “Dad”. I’ll always be their Dad, now they just have two. It’s a good thing.

I hope “H” calls me Dad someday. It’ll mean that I’ve earned it.

TL;DR: In Monaco, citizens aren't taxed on their incomes. However, there is a 19.6% “value-added tax” placed on most consumer purchases.