~ archived since 2018 ~

When he sleeptalks something nasty it's cheating, but when she does... it's not?

LELO_TV

June 20, 2022

9 upvotes

https://www.reddit.com/r/TrueOffMyChest/comments/vghfdj/my_26f_husband_32m_thinks_i_cheated_and_now_wont/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3

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Post Information

Title	When he sleeptalks something nasty it's cheating, but when she does... it's not?
Author	LELO_TV
Upvotes	9
Comments	44
Date	June 20, 2022 3:59 PM UTC (4 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/MensRights
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/MensRights/comments/vgoskf/when_he_sleeptalks_something_nasty_its_cheating/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/MensRights/when-he-sleeptalks-something-nasty-its-cheating.1120705 https://theredarchive.com/post/1120705

Comments

[–]EeAreEyeSea 5 points6 points7 points 4 years ago (26 children) | Copy Link

[–]Leading_Direction_84 3 points4 points5 points 4 years ago (4 children) | Copy Link

[–]EeAreEyeSea 2 points3 points4 points 4 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link

[–]LELO_TV 1 point2 points3 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

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[–]Leading_Direction_84 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]LELO_TV 1 point2 points3 points 4 years ago (20 children) | Copy Link

[+]velvetalocasia -6 points-5 points-4 points 4 years ago (19 children) | Copy Link

[–]LELO_TV 2 points3 points4 points 4 years ago (18 children) | Copy Link

As you can imagine we are not in control of what we say while sleeping, just like we are not in control of what to dream and how to react in that dream, which also mean he wouldn't necessairly do in real life what he might have done/thought in that dream.

He got "caught searching for online affairs in extra matrimonial groups", did he have one? did he even talk to one of them? or was it just curiosity? with the same logic i'm cheating every time i see a female passing by. I get average two females as facebook friends suggestions, and everytime i go and check if i know them, is this cheating?

He was talking consistently to his old friend, is talking to someone considered cheating too? even a friend of 10 years?

She has trust issues that she projected to him, now roles are reversed and she expects him to trust her?

I bet you're one of those women that blame the guy because he was cheating in her dreams, take a step back to reality for your own sanity.

[–]velvetalocasia -3 points-2 points-1 points 4 years ago* (17 children) | Copy Link

[–]LELO_TV 1 point2 points3 points 4 years ago (16 children) | Copy Link

[–]velvetalocasia -2 points-1 points0 points 4 years ago (15 children) | Copy Link

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[–]velvetalocasia1 point 4 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

[–]LELO_TV1 point 4 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

[–]velvetalocasia1 point 4 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

In this comment you said searching through cheater groups is the same as using social media and nothing wrong with that.

https://www.reddit.com/r/MensRights/comments/vgoskf/when_he_sleeptalks_something_nasty_its_cheating/id2yfgu/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=iossmf&context=3

Aka „he did nothing wrong“.

Then in this comment you said but did he even interact with the people in the cheater groups? And yeah lying is wrong but it’s not cheating!

https://www.reddit.com/r/MensRights/comments/vgoskf/when_he_sleeptalks_something_nasty_its_cheating/id32pev/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=iossmf&context=3

Aka and if he did something wrong, it wasn’t that bad.

Even though for YOUR partner interacting in tinder would be a no go. You still didn’t explain how tinder is different from cheater groups…..isn’t the purpose of both hookups? And her being insecure about her husband searching through a cheater group is her problem but your girlfriend interacting in tinder is a no go. Explain the difference like I‘m fife!

https://www.reddit.com/r/MensRights/comments/vgoskf/when_he_sleeptalks_something_nasty_its_cheating/id38r63/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=iossmf&context=3

And then next you say, to assume for him being a cheater there has to be hard evidence but to assume she is cheating, one sentence she said while asleep is enough.

https://www.reddit.com/r/MensRights/comments/vgoskf/when_he_sleeptalks_something_nasty_its_cheating/id3m1qt/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=iossmf&context=3

Aka and if it was bad, then she must have done something as wrong!

You are doing exactly what you are accusing others of!

He assessment that he cheated was not based on him sleep talking but on him participating in a hookup group and talking sexually to another woman. Still you want to assume that he actually did nothing wrong. And what do you mean, there was no evidence yet? When he sleep talked, she already knew about his adventures on in the cheater groups…..how is that not evidence? But she still asked him about it and he lied!

The assessment that she cheated is solely based one one sentence she said in her sleep. But still you assume, without anything else, that she cheated.

Why is that?

[–]LELO_TV1 point 4 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

God look at this comment, i wish i have time to spend on Reddit like you do.

1)Searching for affair doesn't mean having one, but yes if he's acting in bad faith (which is what she proved later) it's already considered cheating.

Just because i buy a gun doesn't mean i'm going to shoot someone, the purpose is the key (acting in bad faith)

2)Again, until she proved he sent text messages to those groups, there were not evidences of cheating. And the only lie i mentioned was about him saying he didn't know his friend.

3)I wouldn't leave my gf for searching on Tinder, I'd leave her because if she's doing it in bad faith then i'd lose trust in her, if you can't see the difference, i believe nothing will. And i mean it when i say that couple shouldn't even exist, considering there's no reason to trust each other.

4)I said that, when there were no evidences on both of them, people were assuming he was cheating because she said so, yet nobody assumed she was just because she said she wasn't, that's double standard.

You can't say someone is guilty without evidences just she because someone else says so, that's why women make false rape/assault allegations and innocents men go to jail.

5)In the first post she didn't mention messages he texted to other women, she only mentioned he was searching for them which is not an evidence of cheating, but a good reason to doubt.

And sending texts on other women is not an evidence he was cheating with her friend specifically, but she didn't trust him anymore and she had all the reasons to do it. Lack of trust is not an evidence but it's a good reason to doubt.

if sleeptalking equals to "cheating" it means both can assume the other one cheated because both sleeptalked. all we can say for sure is that he cheated because there's evidence of it.

I'm not minimizing his behavior, you're just assuming i'm doing it.

[–]velvetalocasia1 point 4 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

You seem to have more than enough time.

you can search for an affair in good faith? That’s serious narcissist talk.
how the fuck can you be in a cheater group in good faith but not on tinder?
yeah explain how searching on tinder in good faith would work! You keep dodging that.
that’s not double standard, that’s believing when someone tells you something. If you don’t have reason to not believe, why should you not believe? It would be a double standard if she tells that he cheated and he tells that she cheated and you would believe her but not him, just because he is a man. But that’s not the situation at hand. If you have problems believing what people say, just because then reddit is a difficult place, as usually you just have the word of people here.

This has really nothing to do with false accusations.

But while we are at it, do you generally not believe what men write on here as well?

the reason she didn’t trust him about „his friend“ was that she had prior experience, of him searching for and writing to affair partners (you do understand that this things had a timeline for her and she didn’t got to know it all at once like you reading her post?).

Sending texts to „his friend“ detailing how he wants to fuck her is not evidence? What kind of pills are you on?

You very much minimize what he did. Plus you willfully ignore that not him sleepwalking was what she was angry about but him talking to other women about how he wants to do them.

[–]LELO_TV1 point 4 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

[–]velvetalocasia1 point 4 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

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