I was in love with my girlfriend in high school, a 5'2" blonde-haired, blue-eyed girl who loved animals and said she loved me. We always went out, had a great time, made love, went to 7 dances together, and kept it going even after high school. Then in the middle of the night she called me and confessed that she cheated on me with a guy who was a porn star. She went on and on about how huge his penis was and how quickly she orgasmed. She kept going on about it, like saying, "You don't understand how thick it was....no I mean you really don't understand how huge it was and how it felt." I eventually hung up the phone and she immediately called back and kept going on about this guy. I forgave her and kept going out with her but it was never the same. My confidence and trust was broken. She eventually broke up with me. Every time I would see or meet a girl I liked, I would instantly think there is someone better for her than me. My ex would get ahold of me every so often and want to talk, or see me, but I always decided not to because I was afraid of falling in love with her again. The thing is, I don't think I ever stopped loving her, and I always did wish to see her again, but was too hurt by her at the same time. I never saw myself the same again after her. I never went all the way with any women again because I knew I wasn't worth the hassle. I would be cheated on because I didn't bring enough to the table. I later found out that she was having a relationship with my best friend the whole time, and behind my back afterward. I did meet her through my best friend afterall. So now I don't talk to either one of them anymore and have been off Facebook for a long time now. She wanted to come see me again a couple of years ago, but I knew she was really going to go see my "best friend" and act like I was the main event. That's not a real best friend, I never got with any of his girlfriends or wife when he was married, and would never do that to a friend. But it seems okay for them to stab me in the back and ruin my life. I still don't think there's any woman who would want to have to compromise with having me because of this girl I went out with. Women say guys with small penises are ugly on the inside too, well now you see why. But honestly, I'm the nicest guy you've ever met and would give you she shirt off my back, always have been.

I'm making more money than I ever have right now and am focusing on my relationship with Jesus and things I like and love, like my parents, brothers, sisters, etc. My awesome dog, my passion for cars, working out, saving money, and more. I've wasted a lot of time with this nightmare in my head and don't think I'll ever recover from it ....since it was 20 years ago.

Thanks for the platform to share anything.