Wife physically abusive. Need suggestions for security cameras to gather evidence

Fr33d0m206 · 2020-01-05T18:11:26+00:00

Just use your phone camera and dont fight unless its literally life or death. Has she always been this way? How long have you been married? Since you dont own a house together or whatever I think you should leave her and talk to a lawyer. Ask about a restraining order and file a police report. Dont egg her into a fight for evidence. Just have your phone on you at all times and lock it with a new pw. I would prepare for the very real reality that this relationship may not work out unless she gets some serious help. Dont involve the police at the apartment. Leave and then talk to them, I got arrested for defending myself from my ex and she refused to let me leave. Perhaps had I gotten out sooner or later and then talked with them, it would have been different but being around her made me the abuser in their eyes. The reason I say dont fight is because she will automatically become the victim. My ex had been attacking me off and on for hours and when she hit me over the head with a glass jar, I lost my cool and threw her into the bathtub head first. She got a bad bruise on her rib and looking back, it just isn't worth it. Stay safe and good luck...

Sir_Sux_Alot · 2020-01-05T18:35:45+00:00

Start with a nanny cam- they are under $100 and you can just put it on the living room or bedroom with your kids toys

jeff_the_nurse · 2020-01-05T18:19:36+00:00

Blink brand security cameras are great.

littlepaperfolk · 2020-01-06T04:41:53+00:00

You can also tell her you want a divorce in a public place or in the home of friends you trust, so you have witnesses. While there be vocal about the abuse. Tell the friends too and your family. Retain a lawyer, get paperwork done and serve her with divorce papers. I work for a domestic violence organization with a 24 hour crisis line. We get calls from straight men, gay men and trans men as well as from women and trans women. The information we give is the same. You must leave. People in physically violent relationships are at at risk of lethality if they stay because physical abuse always gets worse over time. Go for 50/50 custody. You could try to go for primary care, but without proof of abuse, like police reports, you may not get it. At any rate, you must stay safe. There is no shame in being abused, but it’s a cycle that never ends unless your abuser takes responsibility for for the abuse and gets counselling. Cameras are a good idea for the short term and you can ask police to see the evidence and have her charged accordingly, but ending the relationship will keep you safe and allow you to move forward with your life. Good luck!

dzkrf · 2020-01-05T18:21:44+00:00

Good luck. As stated, don't hit back unless life or death. No one will believe you. Until you get video set up, audio can also do in a pinch. Like leaving yourself a long voicemail or old school tape recorder.

mild-apsy · 2020-01-06T07:33:57+00:00

If you have any tech skills, I'd set up raspberry pi zeros with camera modules around the house to capture everything. They are fairly small and easy to hide.

SharedRegime · 2020-01-05T20:30:56+00:00

Legally if your life is in danger you can defend yourself however shes a woman so you already know how thats going ti be seen. Dont. Touch. Her. End of convo. Run if you have to but dont touch her or youre entirely fucked.

NerdGuyLol · 2020-01-05T23:53:35+00:00

The only advice I'd give you is to not fight back unless your life is in danger. You know what the courts are like. Don't even give them an opportunity

oceansarevast · 2020-01-06T04:09:57+00:00

1) many countries do not allow you to record other people. Logically in your case you don't need to. You need to record yourself. Start with downloading continuous voice recording apps in the Android store and see which app records best for you. I did it in a similar situation. Be sure to check the quality of the sound recording and at which speed the recording becomes too noisy to be useable in court. I can't remember the app, but with decent sound it produced around 1GB files per 24 hours which I stored on an external hard disk. The file name is the day of the recording and make a note in a book for you own reference with the stuff that happened that day. 2) video recording the same. Look for an app that does continuous recording of at least 15 frames per second, test it and see if it is acceptable. Get a decent shirt with a chest pocket, strengthen it if necessary so you can wear your phone reversed with the back camera front facing. Your spouse does not even know what is happening. Important is to do this continious recording else you will be accused of illegal recordings. As long as you record everything it is nothing more then a personal video about yourself during the last 24 hours. Copy the files over to a harddsk. Check the video compatibility and quality with vlc. Practice a few times, so you know the right position for you body and chest and how your phone camera acts on that and what quality it produces 3) make yourself the primary parent for your child. Make a daily journal. Wake up, feeding time, food eaten, games played, interactions. Take your child out every day, even 30 min is good. Record everything in either step 1 or 2. Attend every doctor/ child checkup and make documentation. Name spoken to, vaccine received, nurse instructions, everything in your journal. Wash your child every day, dress, buy clothes and keep receipts. Take as many pictures together as possible. Take a naked picture of your child everyday front and back so you can proof no bruises or wounds and document when there are wounds and write down how this happened in your journal. Now your are an involved responsible parent with documentation and proof of 1 or 2 that you don't do the naughty things with your child which women love to play in court that does not show anything but convey the message of the mother you are unfit/violent/rapist/abuse/name it Stop it right there with documentation. Judges don't like evidence because then they need to act on it. Much easier for a judge to be in the he said, she said position and in name of the child custody is mothers to take. 4) if you got money have a exploring meeting with a lawyer about your position as a father in your state. Are you on the birth cert, fix it if not. What financial consequences you need to expect when you divorce. 5) with 1 or 2 in place, if your wife attacks you, take your child and walk out of the house. You are the primary parent so act like it and secure your child and yourself. Never ever hit back even it it means you are gonna get hurt. Let her hurt you, more evidence for you. Blood can be washed away, scars heal, stitches go away. Lost children are on your mind till your dying day, don't get in that situation. 6) expect the worst from your spouse, don't thinks this or that. Expect the worst. Prepare now and be several steps ahead of her. Don't fuck around, use drugs, drink or smoke. Be clean like a saint. This a a fight for live and you need to win.

IronJohnMRA · 2020-01-06T15:31:55+00:00

(We have a son together )

Is she abusing the son too?

Title	Wife physically abusive. Need suggestions for security cameras to gather evidence
Author	thrwaway9374
Upvotes	56
Comments	31
Date	January 5, 2020 5:56 PM UTC (6 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/MensRights
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/MensRights/comments/ekge49/wife_physically_abusive_need_suggestions_for/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/MensRights/wife-physically-abusive-need-suggestions-for.861633 https://theredarchive.com/post/861633

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