Fellas and ladies, Try going out to a store to get a nice suit combo or just dress shirt + tie + pants + dress shoes, optional: watch (don’t forget haircut and shave). Get that MF tailored to fit you nice and proper lol. Ladies same applies with attire you’re comfortable with and feel good in.

Next, admire yourself in the mirror and how nicely you clean up, seriously, you will walk taller than usual and with a bounce in your step unless this is your usual attire.

Next, go out to a nice public venue (bar, opera, museum, art gallery, anywhere you wouldn’t be out of place wearing a suit)

You’ll love this next part… DO NOT approach women/men or speak with anyone besides hello/head nod in passing. Extreme? Sure, but stick with me here. I just want to go about your business moving throughout your chosen space (no corner/wall standing).

As you’re doing your own thing try to check out your surroundings. Meet eyes with a woman? Great, DON’T approach!! This first trip is just about feeling yourself at your best + building confidence in knowing that you’re not some strange being that is either invisible or repulsive to women or people in general. As you nod to that person you pass by you should be thinking “Oh shit, it’s like I actually fit in here”

Repeat this process several times and you’ll know when you feel ready to make the next jump to CASUAL conversation. Did you choose an art gallery? Pick a painting (not a woman lol) that interest you, and if someone is there ask them what about it intrigues them + share your own perspective. Chose a bar? get to know the bartender and then just speak freely/casually with folks at the whole bar. Choose topic anyone can jump into (this will come with repetition).. avoid busier nights at first, if they have time they will back you up if the conversation (I promise they are really good at picking up on this. It’s their job lol)

= smooth, natural, flowing conversation (with repetition)

As you get better at casual conversations like this, you’ll find this new weapon you’ve developed transforms into an “approach” when the women you’re speaking with you find attractive. You’ve already been dating yourself this whole time, so if you fancy her company and conversation, invite her to do one of these things that you’ve been doing. Maybe they go for it, maybe they don’t but that’s not really important. You’ve already built yourself into a more confident person. You’re comfortable being alone, you’re comfortable opening conversation, you’re comfortable leading and participating in an interaction, you’re not dependent upon how any one or many interactions goes because thats all they are at the end of the day = you’re now the F-ing WOMAN/MAN

Next challenge is balancing your newfound ego, so you don’t swing yourself too far into “rude egotistical asshole” territory but that’s child’s play compared to effort and perseverance you’ve displayed to reach that point.

All off of the back of feeling good about yourself and who you are. Meditation and/or therapy if you feel you can’t begin this process without flashbacks creeping up or holding onto the past. We’re making way for the person you can be.

Thoughts?