Buckle up, it’s a long one. Soz

So like the rest of you I’ve seen lots of stuff online regarding dating and gender. Some good stuff about women and men, some bad. And weirdly I end up agreeing with a lot of it.

Most of this stuff isn’t explicitly wrong, it’s just that the perspective is shifted really negatively. There are a lot of ways of seeing this stuff that is extremely positive and in no way a delusion. That said there are some falsehoods that when learnt about that cause a lot of anger in booth men and women and everyone else on the gender spectrum.

So I’m something of a fence sitter that agrees and disagree with just any everything and wanted to share some of my thoughts in the hope that maybe even one person might benefit.

About me a little: I’m 30 yo man and recently got out of a 10 year relationship. We had rings, talked about kids and were planing a wedding at different stages. We are still extremely close. It has shocked many people how amicable or break up has been. From the ten years and the very chill break up I have learnt some stuff that not many people have learnt by my age and in many cases older. Since the break up three ish months ago I’ve slept with three women. Two ONS and one that has become a small relationship. I’m not particularly anything. Not ugly or sexy. Not rich or poor. Not overly masculine or lacking masculinity. So that’s kinda my resume.

Ok first things first. Men and women are not the same. We do not have the same feelings or thoughts and we do not have the same experience in the dating world. I see a lot of posts here that are summarised by “This gender has a different experience to the other gender!!!!! Can you believe it!!!!!??!?!!” … Yes, believe it. That’s the truth. Sometimes it’s good, other times bad. You just gotta except it and move on. It will never change.

Another one of the things I here a lot of is: “80% women are sleeping with JUST ONE MAN!!!!!!” No. Just no. Most women are actually in monogamous relationships. And or the group that a lot of those aren’t fucking anyone. I’ve got lots of women friends who maybe sleep with one guy a year. This stat is a lie that that goes viral really easy and makes you hate life. It’s not true. Calm down.

One of the main points I want to make is Men like women more than women like men. It’s why we are the pursuers. It’s why women don’t stare at every guy they see. It’s why they can wait for the next guy to come along. They do not feel the way men do. They way I feel about women is like watching a sun rise after a cold night. The warmth it brings my spirit to be in the presence of a beautiful woman is amazing and not rare at all. On any given day I’ll feel this a dozen or so times. It’s sometimes the reason I get out of bed, it’s why I work on myself, it’s why I want to succeed. …. Most women do not have this reaction to men. Accept it. Move on. The sunrise doesn’t care about you, you have to make it care. “But that’s unfair!!” Yes. But you can’t change it. And women have their own challenges to face that men don’t. It’s unfair for everyone. It’s life. Very unfair.

So by this point I realise I’ve targeted this towards men a lot more, probs cuz I am one and that’s been my lived experience. This has also gotten quite long so I’ll end it here, if there’s much interest I’ll make some more.

Xoxo pls don’t hate me