How do abandonment issues present themselves in men and women?

babystarboyx · 2019-10-05T22:23:39+00:00

Girls with abandonment issues freak out if you ignore them.

rus9384 · 2019-10-06T00:59:43+00:00

Abandonment issues are about anxious-preoccupied attachment. And that makes people too clingy.

[deleted] · 2019-10-05T22:03:37+00:00

Then there's the other part where at certain other times BPD people actively push people away out of that same fear of abandonment.

tgertcher · 2019-10-06T03:25:06+00:00

See my mom loved me but I have a fear of abandonment still. Weird.

Five_Decades · 2019-10-06T16:56:41+00:00

In men, the PUA and TRP community likely have a massive problem with abusive and narcissistic mothers. I think this creates a deep seated desire for female validation, leading men to learn manipulation tactics to obtain female validation on tap.

Problem is the women most willing to give validation also have abandonment issues (histrionic, borderline, histories of abuse, etc). So PUA men desire validation from women who desire validation, and both end up worse than they were before. If you are a man that desperately craves female validation, it is easier to obtain validation from a woman with borderline personality disorder than an emotionally healthy woman.

Basically in men abandonment issues present themselves in men who are desperate for female validation and turn to PUA to obtain it, in women they express a desire for validation by being needy and doing sexual things to obtain validation.

katymarx · 2019-10-06T17:04:27+00:00

I've had to work very hard on my BPD impulsively and anxious attachment style. Tons of DBT therapy, self discipline practice, and drinking less...altho I still drink too much.

It got me back in the good graces of the man I love but my history of it means he isn't likely to commit to me.

Avoiding avoidant attachment style men for dating is important but it's tough to tell that until some conflict arises. And in the honeymoon phase, as you begin to bond and attach, everything tends to be peachy.

Here is how it's presented itself....millions of texts and calls, picking fights w him in public and just before bed on top of that, hacking all of his accounts except his phone. I could never manage that one because he had a family plan and his siblings were always forgetting the password and changing it. Having violent drunken meltdowns all the time, including while he was driving and almost running us off the road. Crying uncontrollably for hours and hours. Not letting him leave my house even tho I was berating him. Ive jumped onto his moving car and kicked in his bedroom door (in flip flops no less, strong legs haha) when he was trying to get away from me. I was really awful. It was a rollercoaster and I wont go through it again. Wow that was upsetting to even write down and it wasn't even all of it.

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[deleted] · 2019-10-05T22:47:57+00:00

I have huge abandonment issues, but I don't do the behaviors you describe because those will run off the person.

Workaholiconew · 2019-10-06T01:03:02+00:00

I know that abandonment issues are typically associated with 'daddy issues', but is it necessarily that?

No. It is daddy issues which is associated with abandonment.

Title	How do abandonment issues present themselves in men and women?
Author	Maybelowsmv
Upvotes	2
Comments	18
Date	October 5, 2019 9:53 PM UTC (6 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/ddtvrh/how_do_abandonment_issues_present_themselves_in/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/how-do-abandonment-issues-present-themselves-in.288967 https://theredarchive.com/post/288967

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