Could use advice. See below

Deep_Strength · 2021-06-17T20:27:24+00:00

to live a happy and productive life and be fulfilled, including sexually

By far your biggest problem. There's a reason why our sidebar states:

Mission: Tell us what it is and why you need a woman's help accomplishing it (I'm being serious).

If you're a Christian what are you doing to further Christ's mandate to Christians in Matthew 28 through your life and the Church?

190/6’/body fat 15%/Bench 230/At the gym 5 days a week

Great. So you have some good experience at the gym. Invite her to do it with you.

I attend church most Sundays. Wife is more into it and attends many women’s Bible study sessions.

Red flag for you. See the thing about mission above.

Here's the thing. The Scriptures tell us husbands are to be the leader in the marriage. If you don't have a mission ("happy and productive life" don't cut it) there's nothing for her to follow. Then you're just roommates with her and likely going to follow her lead on things.

The role inversion in the relationship almost always leads to decreased sex and wives letting themselves go because she's now in the position of authority over you like your mother was. Women only want to have sex with men they respect. If you're not leading, it's rare that a wife will respect you.

rocknrollchuck · 2021-06-17T19:48:28+00:00

Here's a couple posts on dread, which is what you're currently missing. First one is SUPER long but one of the best reads you will ever come across on here:

Dread & the hamster maze - be sure to read through the comment section on this one as well.
Dread - a simple analogy

Since you're both Christians, the stronger your faith walk is, the more RMV you have. You said you attend church most Sundays but your wife is more "into it" than you are.

Here's the absolute most important question you will ever be asked, ever: are you born again?

RunawayGrain · 2021-06-17T19:01:04+00:00

Basically, what I'm hearing is that you got married to get in her pants, and she's gotten complacent. Just saying most of your complaints center on appearance and the lack of sex. Yes, I get it, lack of sex is a big deal for some men.

We both come from conservative Christian backgrounds. I’m not as affected by it as she is.

Can you explain this a bit more? What I'm hearing is that she's hiding behind 'conservative christian' to avoid some sexual activities.

Since the promotion it’s gotten worse. She already let herself go after getting married and it’s accelerating. Lots of stress eating I think. Less time for cooking.

Why keep working the reel once you've landed the fish? Catching the fish is only fun while there is the possibility it might escape. If you want to try to salvage this, you need to present the idea that you might not have been landed yet -- and that you're the best she'll ever be able to do.

On the other hand the current slant of the family courts means she has many incentives to cut and run. But as far as the house "What profiteth it a man if he gains the whole world and loses his soul?" The house is just a thing.

Paladin_Alexander · 2021-06-18T00:37:57+00:00

christian Not very Sunday in church

If God isn’t in his Right place in the marriage how is it supposed to work? How can a Christian even consider divorce? Pray, pray together with your wife and for your marriage. It is a problem for her too. How come she is not with you in the gym? And if she is binge eating than good place to start would be to get food with large volume and low in calories. Get a dietician if that’s too complicated for you both.

And how can Christian upbringing deter from sex? Is it some Puritan thing I’m too catholic to understand?

socialtrinitarian · 2021-06-17T20:36:19+00:00

Find a ministry (or two) in the church and get stuck into it. Find ways to serve. Meet up with other Christian men to study the Bible together.

Idunnowhy2 · 2021-06-17T19:45:27+00:00

Divorce would be better than an affair, since you are likely to end up divorced and do worse in it if you have an affair.

The fact that this happened after a promotion suggests maybe she is finding herself respecting you less, and/or maybe higher stress negatively affecting her sex drive. Try to identify the real issue, then you can fix it.

Title	Could use advice. See below
Author	NoMoarNonsese123
Upvotes	11
Comments	10
Date	June 17, 2021 6:06 PM UTC (5 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/RPChristians
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/RPChristians/comments/o23laj/could_use_advice_see_below/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/RPChristians/could-use-advice-see-below.784628 https://theredarchive.com/post/784628

Comments