Breaking free exercise 3 Describe experiences that sent you the message you weren't good enough to be loved.

I grew up in a loving but of course not a perfect home. I remember getting into trouble as a kid and my parents saying there was nothing I could do that would not make them love me. I think it was school where I started to get the message I'm liked for what I do for other people. I remember in high school some kids would tell me man stick up for yourself and quit self degrading just to be liked. I remember standing up to someone else and them saying I liked it better when you were just compliant. I viewed Gods love as this theoretical concept which I viewed true but not as something to be real and experienced. Even tho I have experienced Gods love it's easy to forget it's real. I still struggle with how can God love me and hate sin yet I'm born into sin. I know the one thing from home that sort of sent the message even tho we say we love you unconditionally we really don't. Was when I decided to stop working on becoming an Eagle Scout. Yes I did the project. My parents were furious. There were also the occasional remarks from the other parent hey mom or dad is not in a great mood so behave. While I'm sure this happens in every home it still sent the message that im partly responsible for the feelings of others. Then there was the covert contract I made with the Golden Rule treat others how I want to be treated (the covert part was so I'll be treated the way I want to be treated)