My fiance and I have had a really bad month. Our relationship is fine, but our families have both had multiple deaths all within a couple weeks of each other. My aunt, and both of his grandmothers, passed away in April.

I haven't specifically looked for them, but I've not seen many posts about RP dynamics when grieving. There is no doubt that things change.

1 - Sex has all but stopped. Neither of us have initiated for three-ish weeks (before, it was 5-7 times/week). We've been a lot more physically affectionate, though. More cuddling, kissing, holding hands, just being physically close to each other.

2 - Certain home responsibilities are put to the side for more important things. We are usually adamant about having a clean kitchen every night, doing laundry once a week, vacuuming/sweeping regularly, etc. With all the craziness, however, some of these tasks have been put off. Family coming in from all over the country, being in and out of the hospital for a while, cooking for 3x more people than I usually do every night (inside & outside our home), the cleaning schedule is all sorts of wacky. Neither of us are miffed about it, there's no time.

3- Delicate balance of emotion vs. stability. Usually, he is the stable one. But he's understandably shaken and has had some moments where he broke down. In those moments, it is up to me to be his stability, swallow my own grief temporarily and hold him up. However, I've noticed that after these moments, it usually shifts back. He turns back into himself.

Some things stay the same. He's been amazing, planning all the services/managing funds... stepping up to the plate (his parents are in another country, so it's fallen to him.) I'm just stepping back and letting him. My responsibilities shifted from being his soft place to land, to being his and our family's soft place to land. I've been making sure that anyone who comes here is fed and people get what they need. Not just in our own home - but our extended home (grandpas, aunts, etc.)

This is the first time we've had to "lead" family - not just during a time of grief, but at all. I guess I'm just grateful that our dynamic seems to be working. The final funeral is tomorrow (Wednesday) and then family will be in the area until Sunday.

I apologize if this post is a little disorganized, my thoughts feel jumbled. My goal here is to open a discussion about grief. What is everyone else's experience with grief? How did it affect your relationship? Are there any specific things that you did that you want to share? Share your thoughts.