So, I have been mulling over this idea for a few days, and finally feel like I can write it down coherently.

My situation is perhaps a little different from most, although there will definitely be others in a similar situation.

One of the issues I have struggled with regarding RPW ideals is that, for a large proportion of the time with my SO, I have had to be "leading", and I have been thinking about how to reconcile this with RPW.

Last night it came to me, so I wanted to run it by the rest of you knowledgeable ladies and see what you think.

Whilst my SO is still the Captain, and I am still the First Mate, there are times when the Captain is out of action, (in a real world analogy, this would be when the Captain is sleeping, or sick, or elsewhere), and then the First Mates role is to ensure the ship is still steering in the right direction,and runs as optimally as possible, so that when the Captain returns, the First Mate can hand it back to him, in almost as good a condition as if he had been steering it.

To be specific to my relationship (without going into too many details), my SO has been unable to run finances, or handle day-to-day issues for much of the relationship, but now is getting to a place where he has said he will take over finances in January, so, my role has been ensuring that everything has not fallen apart, and that the direction is one he would have wanted it to go in, so when he is back firing on all cylinders, and I give him back the reins, it is not a total disaster.

I have been a bit concerned about how I will feel about handing over everything, but, it is actually a relief. I have also been concerned that by my running everything, I have been inadvertently exacerbating his problems.