How do I create a life that doesn't revolve around my husband?

I spent years crying that he doesn't love me. I worked very hard on self care and came to the realization that I don't love him romantically either. He's even trying hard now, but it feels too little too late. He's still controlling about how me and the kids spend our time. I feel trapped.

My family is all in other states and I don't even have a friend here. I don't know how to feel in control of my own life.