I want him back...

TempestTcup · 2013-10-14T17:56:06+00:00

Words are useless; you need to show him that you have changed. Offer to help out more, maybe. It will take a lot of time because once or twice of having things look nice won't be enough.

I would suggest that you visit Married Man Sex Life (on the sidebar under Resources) and read his newest book and go through the steps outlined. Improve yourself for YOU because if you are doing it with an agenda, it won't work.

Also a sincere apology is never a bad idea; just don't talk about anything he did wrong, only your part and what you are doing to change.

MrsStrom · 2013-10-15T14:32:58+00:00

Cook that man something! Give him an idea of what home life will be like if you two get back together.

And congratulations on to coming to your senses. :)

crankypants15 · 2013-10-15T15:10:43+00:00

You need to do some critical things, which other people have mentioned, which I will summarize:

Talk to him face to face, admit what you did wrong, give specific examples, then apologize. I personally do not like apologies that come with gifts, it looks manipulative.
Tell him your plan to change, be specific. Give specific examples.
Tell him you want to act better to prove you want to get back together eventually, but (and say this) you recognize he may be hurt you hope over time he will see you trying.
Start acting like that new person towards him.
Don't involve sex for a few months. Some men will see this as manipulation because there are likely trust issues here. He's probably not ready for physical intimacy anyway. But this can vary by guy. He also needs to get his emotions together and trust you before sex, IMO.

It will take time for him to believe you. It may take years. If you are not ready to commit to change for years, don't waste his time.

HeadingRed · 2013-10-14T21:10:49+00:00

Words not deeds are key. Keep in mind though well thought out words of regret can help. Don't lead with those- start by showing him you're willing to change. When he notices, then express regret and have a clear path in mind for how he can trust that this is not a short-term thing to get him back into your life. If you make this a seduction dinner right away it's a gamble. Even more so if he knows you just broke up with someone.

You did not answer the following- 1. Did you break up with him for someone else? 2. How many men have you been with since then? 3. Does he have someone making him happy now? 4. Are you seeing someone right now or just break up with someone?

You say you want to cook for him, clean for him, have the house spotless etc. That's a good way to show you can be a good housewife and mother. You need to think about how you're going to be a good lover as well. Guys don't need the cook\clean stuff as much as you might think- we can do it on own. The mistake my ex made was thinking that because my place was not that tidy when we were dating she thought she could stay home all day and still not have to manage the house.

A good woman isn't some doormat. It's someone who can manage to get things done so we don't have to think about it. The few times when I came home after a long day and the house was clean\dinner ready made me think "hey, we are in this together and she brings something to the equation" . Coming home to a mess and a hot TV\pile of DVDs out and a request "to go out and get some Chinese" = she sees me as a meal ticket and free arm candy. Sex went downhill from there- I was in my 20's and still just did not want to have sex with her due to the feeling I was being taken advantage of. I don't expect you make as much money as I do, or do what I do. I do expect you to take care of the things you can do so I don't have to. You expect me to get the lawn mowed and replace the toilet\clean the gutters. This is a two way street. It's not that hard.

When did it end? When women (2 in particular) who had their act together showed a lot of interest in me. Took one out for coffee after work, thought about it for a couple a days and then delivered the news. If she would have made even a half-hearted effort to make amends\do better I might have changed my mind but this was not the case.

trippingdaisies · 2013-10-16T22:20:19+00:00

Just because you've identified the problem doesn't mean it's fixed. You grew up in a broken home and never prioritized these things. That won't change just because you realized it. I strongly advise counseling.

Title	I want him back...
Author	iwanthimbacknow
Upvotes	9
Comments	9
Date	October 11, 2013 2:18 AM UTC (12 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/RedPillWomen
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/RedPillWomen/comments/1o6xh6/i_want_him_back/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/RedPillWomen/i-want-him-back.84019 https://theredarchive.com/post/84019

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