Kindness and judgment.

Kindness and judgment are both very necessary traits for living life. Kindness and judgment can be seen as two sides of the same coin. They balance each other out.

Good and bad

People often refer to a kind person as a good person and to a person who employs judgment as a bad person. However, when we think about it for real, kindness does not equal good and judgment does not equal bad.

A good person likes to do good for others whether the "others" are worthy or not. In fact, the others are hardly a consideration at all, they're merely the recipients of the goodness given. Likewise with regards to a bad person. A bad person doesn't know how to do good. They take pleasure in the suffering of others and have no empathy or mercy. It's almost as if the "others" are mere objects on whom to unleash bad.

A good person is pure good and a bad person is pure bad. Good and bad don't influence or have any effect on one another. They merely coexist (and push each other away) in most people.

Kindness and judgment

Kindness and judgment are not extreme like good and bad. Both kindness and judgment are within the realm of interacting with a fellow. The fellow exists. Unlike in the mindset of "good and bad" where the recipient is a mere object to whom to do good or bad to - kindness and judgment are determined based on the worthiness of the recipient.

When you think about a loved one, your heart fills with love for them. You want to give the world to them. This is kindness. Kindness is counterbalanced by judgment who will tell you why it isn't wise to give the world to your loved one because doing so will spoil them and drain everything you have etc.

Likewise, when your child acts out and you're frustrated and upset and have an urge to punish them harshly, but then your kindness kicks in and reduces the severity of the judgment.

Thus, kindness and judgment are all about the worthiness of the recipient who is a very important person to you. So important, that you go through a whole mental back and forth to determine how and what to give to them.

Men and women

We often discuss how men and women balance each other out. How we may both posses the same character traits, but that one trait is more dominant in men, while the opposite is more dominant in women. The same is true with regards to kindness and judgment.

Men are stronger in kindness, women are stronger in judgment. A man is naturally more giving, more generous and doesn't care as much about nitty gritty details. Men hold less grudges and will likely forget the transgression after a while if it isn't a repeat offense. All these are expressions of kindness who's mindset is - if they're somewhat worthy, let's give way more than they deserve. (As explained above)

Women are stronger in judgment. Women are more cautious, more resourceful in maintaining what they have, more nurturing, pay more attention to detail which matters very much, hence the grudges. All these are functions of judgment.

Edited to add - TRP often discusses how men can become more disciplined and less of a "nice guy". RPW often discusses how women can become nicer, Kinder and less of a shrew. This further confirms my conclusions here.

Balance

As mentioned earlier, kindness and judgment are neither good or bad. Both can be employed for good and both can be employed for bad. Balance is key for a healthy marriage and healthy children.

Balance is maintained when both parties are heard. When they each counterbalance each other in a respectful manner. There's restraint on spoiling the kids and kindness in disciplining them. Ultimately though, one person needs to have the final word. This person is the captain. He ought to be the dominant one because kindness ought to be a bit stronger than judgment for a healthy balance.

Attraction

Based on this we can understand an interesting thing about attraction between the sexes. Men are attracted to soft kindness in women and women are attracted to tough discipline in men.

If a man is too giving and generous he's seen as a pushover because he's imbalanced. He's pure kindness and balance is needed for a healthy union. He's therefore unattractive to women. Likewise, if a woman is a total mean bitch, she'll be unattractive to men no matter how hot she may be. She is pure judgment with no balance.

When a man shows that he has discipline to balance his natural kindness, he's attractive. When a women displays that she has kindness to balance her natural judgment, she's attractive.

Conclusion

Kindness and judgment are character traits that both men and women have. Men are more dominant in kindness and women are more dominant in judgment. Each needs to display to the other that they have internal balance. Within a marriage, each ought to balance the other. The end result is a balance that is slightly tilted in favor of kindness.

Cheers!