I (29F) am engaged to my fiancé (30M) and planning our wedding for this fall. We had a big fight a couple of days ago and I’m still having a hard time speaking to him or even looking at him. Long story short I was slightly inpatient with him and he told me to “shut up” (not the first time he’s said this to me) so I called him a name. I know.. it’s awful and not something I usually do but he crossed a boundary by saying shut up, proceeded to say “shut the f*** up” after that and I was just over it. He brought up my parents marriage and compared me to that (lots of childhood trauma that was thrown in my face) and it just spiraled from there. It hurt me so badly and I cried for hours. I’ve realized he can sometimes have a HUGE lack of respect for me during conflict and I just don’t know what to do. A bad fighter I guess at times. I’m a Laura Doyle fan and have noticed when I incorporate her methods it really improves our relationship. I’m stuck between calling off the wedding or being more of a “surrendered wife” and giving him utmost respect so he doesn’t get so defensive and snippy. He is very protective of his ego as a man which I understand.

Aside from this incident we usually get along well and have much better communication. We’re best friends, he pays for everything and is hard working at his office job. We travel and have so much fun together. He’s also in therapy. I’m just unsure of how to move forward. I would lose a lot by leaving him and I’m not sure I’m ready to turn my life upside down.

TL;DR: Fiancé was very disrespectful and told me to shut up. Do I forgive him and be more respectful towards him or leave?