Maybe I’ve decided that either I’ll be single and have a career or get married and be a homemaker. I think I won’t be able to do both together.

Wife_and_Mama · 2026-04-13T14:59:35+00:00

So, I low-key hate when people point out the obvious to more established women considering staying home, but you're 21 and may not actually be considering all factors. If you want to have a career, stay home and raise your children for 10-15 years, then go back to said career, you need to keep that in mind when choosing your field and position.

Personally, I have a bachelor's in education, a valid teaching license, and a master's in library and information studies. If I needed a career again, I could have a teaching job in a month. I wouldn't make six figures, but I would get credit for the time I spent teaching and then working in a similar field as a teen librarian, so I wouldn't start at tier one either. Even going back in my mid-forties one day, I'll have a good retirement plan and insurance. I actually already have an in to teach at my kids' Catholic school when all mine are old enough to go. Yes, I'll have lost the potential raises, promotions, and growth/compound interest on a retirement for the years I stayed home, but life isn't about money for me. My mother died at 60. While I do have retirement savings and my husband and I are decent with money, I'm not going to miss the most important part of my children's lives planning to live until I'm 90.

Any woman who leaves the workforce needs to be realistic about reentering it. Personally, I've never met a career woman who doesn't know all of the trade-offs and have never seen a single Reddit thread where a nurse, teacher, or director of finance responds with "Oh, my gosh! I hadn't considered the retirement!" Of course they have, but you can make more money. You can't get your children's childhood back. You're very young though and might not have considered all of these things, but that also means you probably don't have a set career path. I recommend doing some research on which careers are best for this in your country. Teaching is often a good one. Nursing is usually a great one to offer varying schedules, such as 3 12 hour days on and four off. It's also good for part time work. Whatever you choose, just know what it would mean to leave that field for 10 years and go back, because I have met career women who've wanted to stay home and chosen not to once they've realized how hard it would be to return. Knowledge is definitely power here.

Jenneapolis · 2026-04-13T15:41:17+00:00

You have one life, and it's yours to live. And the older you get, the less you will care what other people think. Living that way is a trap and road to unhappiness.

You can have marriage without children (as I do) - this is becoming so much more common.

However I recommend just keeping an open mind and seeing where things go when you meet someone. Life changes so quickly and unless you 100% know what you want, without a doubt, it's best to let life take you where it does. We as people change quickly and should be open to that change. Every path has positives and negatives, so improve yourself, know yourself, and keep your options open is my recommendation.

AutoModerator · 2026-04-13T07:22:07+00:00

Title: Maybe I’ve decided that either I’ll be single and have a career or get married and be a homemaker. I think I won’t be able to do both together.

Author Sure-Material2129

Full text: Where I come from, it often feels like women are judged no matter what they choose. If you remain single that’s questioned. If you get married and choose to be a homemaker that’s also looked down upon. And at the same time there’s this expectation to “do it all” and balance both perfectly.

I’ve been thinking about this a lot, and I’ve realized I don’t see myself doing both together. I’d rather fully commit to one path than stretch myself trying to meet every expectation.

Right now I’m choosing to focus on building a career and staying single. But I’m not against marriage if I do fall in love, and especially if I choose to have kids I would most likely want to be a homemaker.

For me it’s about choosing what feels sustainable and right for my life rather than trying to fit into every expectation.

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SeaMuted9754 · 2026-04-13T20:53:47+00:00

Felt exactly like you I can’t have kids and a career when I was younger. Though I got married young and didn’t want kids until I was 30. So I went to school and got my degree and started saving and learning to invest money. I came to the conclusion I needed to speed up my career asap because by 30 I am existing the work force with a semi funded retirement to care for children.

Then I got divorced in my mid 20s and now remarriage in my late 20s. My career allows remote part time work so that’s my plan when I have kids now plus my investments.

Honestly you never know how your career will play out keeping your options open is the best. Your career at 20 isn’t going to be your career path at 30. Your opportunities will change too so personally I believe in saying yes to as much as possible as long as you don’t get overwhelmed. A man should never make you feel overwhelmed otherwise he might not be it for you.

Ok-Land8573 · 2026-04-13T21:34:23+00:00

I feel the same. I chose to be a housewife and I don't regret it at all! I've been home for 6 years. I used to be a female airline pilot, such a good job, I really enjoyed it but being able to stay home is priceless, specially now being a mom. My husband is an airline pilot as well. Also, you have to be aware that it's difficult to go back to the workforce after being home for so many years, I knew it and I don't intend to go back to work. I hope to raise my daughter, watch her grow, enjoy it as much as I can and then "retire" (just staying home relaxing and doing my stuff).

Title	Maybe I’ve decided that either I’ll be single and have a career or get married and be a homemaker. I think I won’t be able to do both together.
Author	Sure-Material2129
Upvotes	34
Comments	9
Date	April 13, 2026 7:22 AM UTC (4 months ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/RedPillWomen
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/RedPillWomen/comments/1sk3nz7/maybe_ive_decided_that_either_ill_be_single_and/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/RedPillWomen/maybe-ive-decided-that-either-ill-be-single-and.1577819 https://theredarchive.com/post/1577819

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