mini update "Is this normal?"

chelbski-willis · 2013-09-12T19:48:46+00:00

What's the original post? I feel a little lost reading this one....

TempestTcup · 2013-09-13T14:52:56+00:00

I think he was just nervous one on one. In class he seems alpha because he knows the subject and has studied, etc. It is easy if you know what you are doing. One on one he doesn't have anything studied and doesn't know the subject!

I would say to keep talking and pretty soon it won't be awkward.

Butt-cheese · 2013-09-13T06:47:57+00:00

I've been trying to come up with something to help, and maybe I've found something.

I used to be very socially anxious. So, to get past it, I'd start talking to strangers, men and women - seems simple enough right? I just practiced simple conversation figuring, hey, if they thought I was strange I wouldn't ever see most of them again so it wouldn't matter. Well, that worked pretty nicely, and now it's second nature to get people to come open up to me. A good tip regarding starting this process is to think of something that makes you happy, be mindful of what you are grateful for in life, so you have a look of being kind and open - and actually look at other people as if they are real, you know how there can be days when you're lost in your own world with your worries and you barely notice strangers' faces? Look at people you walk by, and if they notice, give them a sincere smile. Often that's enough to get a conversation jump started and you can practice topics to discuss from there.

Also, I found that many young men are very guarded when it comes to conversation with young women at first, I think they mistrust us and for obvious reasons right? But I found that older men, dad and grandfatherly age types, are far less shy about talking to us and that was when I had many breakthroughs learning how to talk to men in particular. Maybe it's because they're from a different era or because they appreciate a young pretty woman smiling and making pleasant small talk, but I think if you're finding talking to men your own age difficult to try talking to older guys, not to flirt or get their contact information or anything, but it will give you practice to see what works when you're trying to make a real connection with a stranger. For instance the other day I saw this older gentleman smiling and smiled back, he said hello and asked me if I wanted to see something cute. Then he told me about how his wife and he rescued a kitten from behind their church who now has acres to run around on and showed me a picture his wife sent him of the kitten stretched out in the sunshine. And it was really cute, he was right! :) It was an amazing moment, and I love that being more kind and open has allowed my life to be full of moments like that. It has given me confidence not to be afraid of strangers merely for existing and it makes it easier to make friends.

Admittedly, I find it very easy to talk to women, and to guys who remind me of my dad or grandpa - i don't practice talking to young men often because I'm just not interested in friendships with guys my age, I'm taken and don't have many male friends aside from a couple I knew as a kid. But I used to talk to them more when I was single, and once you get past their sometimes sullen exterior, it's not too bad.

The biggest thing I learned to get people, any people, to open up, is to ask them sincere questions about themselves. Over time you'll learn what works and what doesn't, but in general if you are interested in a person ask them to tell you about themselves rather than talking about yourself, you can have very awesome moments in life :) Then you make little interrogations of your own and don't have to worry about that! Haha.

sugarcrush · 2013-09-12T20:47:35+00:00

I have the same problem as you with strange men asking me things in public. I'm like... why are you talking to me?! Must have ill intentions!!! But really, isn't that ridiculous? How many male college students have ever snatched a fellow female student in broad daylight in public? Honestly they are just a bit socially awkward, and I know I can be too, and they deserve some compassion. I doubt he meant anything by the question and was only trying to make conversation. I would have probably turned it around on him. "No, you're the first one I know from class. How about you?" Then, if he knows others, you could offer to form a study group or something. Go to starbucks or another public place the first time if he's still giving you weird vibes, but I bet once you talk to him (or other similar guys) he will relax a bit and the feeling will go away.

Title	mini update "Is this normal?"
Author	umbilicaljane
Upvotes	4
Comments	4
Date	September 12, 2013 7:43 PM UTC (12 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/RedPillWomen
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/RedPillWomen/comments/1m9lz7/mini_update_is_this_normal/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/RedPillWomen/mini-update-is-this-normal.83982 https://theredarchive.com/post/83982

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