This is a throw away account, but I (34f) have been coming here to read advice for about 7 years and taken a lot of the philosophy to heart. For sure it helped me win my husband over while we were dating. And also gave me freedom in a lot of ways.

My husband (37m) and I have been married 5 years. We have two children and an idealic life. I don't have many complaints about my husband.

We both work at the same company but completely different areas and have been for 3 years. My team is all over the country and I work mostly remotely. There is a man (probably not older than 40) that I have developed a serious crush on that works tangentially with my team. I see him in person once or twice a week. We work well together and he is kind to me. We don't flirt in any sort of traditional manner. But I am drawn to him (and I can tell he is to me) like two magnets. This is attraction is obviously not appropriate as we are both married, and happily married at that!

I have started looking for another job, but cannot find anything close to what I have now. I am the breadwinner for our house and can't just quit. And I can't avoid my crush at work and still do my job. And even I did quit, my husband would insist on knowing why. What do I say to him if I quit, "Sorry, I have a crush on this guy. Enjoy working with him while I peace out?" Pretty sure that would ruin my marriage.

My feelings have been slowly developing for this guy at work for about two years, so this isn't new. In a few weeks I'm suppose to travel across the country with him and meet the rest of my team for a week. I wouldn't sleep with him or anything like that, but I am feeling guilty about looking forward to the conversations I'll get to have with him. Like it's an indulgence. He values my perspective, treats me with respect, sincerely apologizes when he messes up, and teaches me a lot about our industry. And he shows up. You know the "if he wanted to he would" man? This guy is always surprising me by how he's willing to show up without me asking. He matches my passion to go a good job.

We do have unspoken boundaries: we do not touch, ever. We don't even stand close to each other, unless we have too. We don't text/message each other unless it's about work during working hours. We rarely chat about not work topics unless we are traveling somewhere together. Then we indugle in philosophy and moral discussions. We don't talk about our personal lives that much and we never disparage our spouses. (We rarely mention them, I didnt even know his wife's name for over a year.) So we aren't doing anything wrong, that I can pinpoint. Its just my feelings getting in the way of things and I'm not sure how to fix it. What would you do if you were me?