New to Red Pill. Question about testing my man?

Whisper · 2016-05-20T20:04:39+00:00

As a submissive partner in a relationship, you don't have the right to get your way, but what you get in return for giving that up is the absolute right to be heard and have your welfare and feelings considered.

Men are easily willing to give this when they do not feel like they are being directed or pushed.

First, read this.

Then, practice saying what you feel or what your problem is in a non-directive way. This takes a little practice, but here are some principles.

Don't suggest solutions right away, even when you have one in mind. To a woman, bringing someone a problem without telling them what you want them to do may seem like a burden ("Here, you figure this out"), but to a man it's a mark of admiration and trust ("You're wise and smart, and I know you will be able to solve this").
Identify the real problem. The real problem is what bothers you, not what you want. For example "You don't respond to my texts for hours" is not the real problem. "I get separation anxiety" is the real problem.
Recognize that trying to "manage" a man comes from lack of trust. If you are trying to make him do something, it's because you don't trust what he will do. Trust is, of course, not automatic, and takes time to build, but you handle your own limited trust in better ways. Instead of telling him what to do, try asking him what he will do, and making sure you're okay with that.
Also, if you are having trust issues, articulate them as another problem you are having. There are very few downsides ever to giving your man more information to make decisions with.

[deleted] · 2016-05-20T20:38:05+00:00

Would you act the same way to a teacher you respected? A coach? Aunt? Grandparent?

I've snapped at him or was stubborn about something that I know undermines his authority or displays that I don't totally trust him. He always addresses it right away, says things like "don't disrespect me." And that always just makes me angry and I probably act up more than I should... Takes hours for me to come around sometimes.

I don't understand. Why would you be picking fights and continue to act obnoxious with a guy if you respected him that much? Actions speak louder than words. This tells me you don't; plain and simple.

***Editing my response to add: People whom you respect will carry a certain "weight" emotionally, and you'll be mindful not to cross any lines; regardless of your mood, or if you agree with them. People whom you disrespect are treated flippantly.

FleetingWish · 2016-05-20T19:16:35+00:00

I think your issue is probably that you feel as though he is not listening to you. I find that if I am communicating what I want, but I don't feel like I am being listened to, it can cause some frustration. Where as if I feel like my opinion has been taken into account, I have a much easier time accepting decisions, even if they are not what I wanted.

When you feel yourself getting frustrated, try just telling him, "I feel like you are not listening to me." Confirmation from him that he is taking into account what you want will go a long way towards solving your issues.

pinkystar79 · 2016-05-20T18:53:02+00:00

...but it's getting more frequent and I just want it to stop.

As an aside to the other advice I'm sure you'll get from the women here, I'll add that you should consider the possibility that it hasn't actually gotten more frequent and that it only seems that way because you've become more aware of it.

Good luck.

Big_Daddy_PDX · 2016-05-21T00:26:37+00:00

Disrespectful behavior erodes the trust relationship whether you apologize or not. If you have concerns that need to be met, bring them up in a constructive, non-challenging manner.

Kitty202 · 2016-05-20T22:42:07+00:00

I think you need to learn to be more docile. I know it's not easy sometimes but we all have to learn. Just try to stay calm and always remember the old cliche - you catch more flies with honey! Stay strong sister! xx

[deleted] · 2016-05-20T23:40:50+00:00

If you feel something isn't right, then tell him how you feel rather than disrespect.

Being submissive means putting your husbands needs first as long as it's right.

Listen to him when you agree. But if you disagree, don't disrespect him and give your reasons why you disagree.

Don't disrespect him and if you disagree, just tell him in a more logical way.

Title	New to Red Pill. Question about testing my man?
Author	pinkystar79
Upvotes	26
Comments	12
Date	May 20, 2016 5:14 PM UTC (10 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/RedPillWomen
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/RedPillWomen/comments/4k99uk/new_to_red_pill_question_about_testing_my_man/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/RedPillWomen/new-to-red-pill-question-about-testing-my-man.2408 https://theredarchive.com/post/2408

Comments