I hope the title suffices well enough for this post and is worded correctly. Anyway, I was lurking in TRP, I do so often and came across a thread that was titled "Women are Incapable of Change".

I clicked on it mostly out of curiosity and because lately I have been feeling like no matter what I do I keep making the same mistake my SO keeps telling me I need to work on so this seemed like a great way to see in a different perspective by lurking on TRP.

Please read the thread in above link

In short description this is what the thread is about:

Women are not agents.

Women, be it learned or ingrained, have no capacity for change or self-improvement. Their default position is hypoagency, they are acted upon, but they do not act. You can see it in every part of their lives: •Their communication style is primarily covert and passive aggressive, remaining behind the guise of plausible deniability. Women can petition for their desires secretly, while never being directly responsible for said communication.

Example:

Him: "Are you ok?"

Her, tersely: "I'm fine." //covert communication, she is upset.

Him: "Why are you upset?" //overt communication

Her: "Did I say I was upset?" //plausible deniability

Then there is the examples that really make you reflect:

"I'm working on it." "I'm trying..." "I can't change overnight!" "I can't help it"

Reflection I read this and began to realize, I make many mistakes, we all do we are human, but there is one my SO consistently addresses me on and that is, I sweat the small stuff. I worry if it be about our health later on in the future or how we will pay for things we don't have to be worrying about yet. I say "I can't help it" way more than I thought and even though my SO addresses me about this mistake and that I CAN help it, I still have yet to actually work on it enough. Maybe I'm just stubborn, but then again that is also just another excuse. I do worry less than what I did BUT I still worry more than what is good for me and especially what is good for him. I love my SO and I don't want to be crying to him (not literal) about how we will make payments on our car three years down the road (again not literal it's just a goofy example). Anyway, after reading this post on TRP I began to reflect about how much I used this excuse and that it actually shocked me that I still did. I was ashamed that instead of changing and actually working on this flaw, I used an excuse and I CONTINUED to do it. So, this thread kind of opened my eyes enough to realize I still did this and now it's my turn to take action and actually make the change. It also might help to know that because of my irrational worries it causes our arguments. We don't argue much but when we do it is because of me sweating the small stuff.

Why I Am Sharing I recently read a post on here about "What to do when you and our SO get into a fight". There were some comments that basically in my own words said Arguments happen because we have issues we need to work on and I'm stubborn enough to want to be right more so than actually want to listen. At least that's what I got from them, but it's true. We are capable of change we just have to take responsibility of our own actions. Oh, and actually take action on them not, try to take action on them. So, I want to share this in hopes it might be the eye opener or perspective change others might need. This just might be the reflection some (like myself) need. Read the thread, maybe it can help.

I'm going to go apologize to my SO, now. :)