First of all, thank you all for the information from this community. Everything I've read in this sub has been thoughtful, honest, respectful, and straightforward, which is infinitely more valuable than any coddling or placating could ever be. This is exactly why I'm hoping for your help with a current (ongoing) situation. Thank you in advance for any advice you can provide!

  • What is the problem, and what do you think is the root of the issue? I'm afraid I haven't properly vetted by current relationship, and my "gut" says to respectfully end things. We often have difficulty communicating. We talk about everything, but the reception isn't always there, which is frustrating. Most recent example: My boyfriend made dinner reservations for us, but then asked me to join him at the gym an hour before the reservation time. When I explained that it wouldn't leave any time for us to change or shower in between (I might take 20-30 mins to go from gym to going-out condition), he insisted we would be fine, and couldn't understand why there would be any issue, despite me trying to explain in plain English. Also, he is out of town for work 2/3 of the time, which I struggle with a lot. At first, this was supposed to be temporary, but he's delayed plans to change this schedule several times. The schedule is now looking to be indefinite, which would be incredibly difficult (for me) with a continued relationship and the possibility of children in the future. However, my RMV (medium to low) and age (nearing 29) give me pause, and make me consider that I might should try HARD to submit to my current boyfriend, as imperfect as our relationship is. I should add that he is wonderful in many ways. He is kind, and always goes out of his way to do nice things. He's compassionate, outgoing, and genuinely likes people.
  • How have you contributed/attempted to mitigate the problem? I've spent a large part of my 20's doing everything the wrong way. I've knowingly dated the wrong men, not taken care of my body, been promiscuous, etc. While these behaviors are nearly all behind me, they cannot be undone, and I know this affects my RMV. I've remained conscious of the fact that I am lucky to have found someone like my current SO, but I also know that the communication issues and his work schedule are incredibly difficult, if not impossible, to accept in a long-term relationship.
  • What are your ages, relationship status, time together? 28F, 27M; Dating exclusively for nearly 1 year. We've discussed marriage and a future together, and we have a similar timeline for these things in mind.