Thought about making a throwaway but decided "fuck it." I only heard of TRP a few weeks ago, though I have been slowly trying to implement the basic philosophy into my life for quite some time. Unfortunately I dealt with physical and sexual abuse in my younger years that had a large hand in me taking on the masculine in most of my relationships. I am married to a wonderful man and still struggle sometimes with letting him call the shots. It's a real shame that I have been conditioned for so long to see masculinity as something I must fight against rather than learn to compliment. I stopped caring about my appearance because of so many lap dog men only wanting a pretty girl to fawn over. I wanted someone who had standards and could appreciate me for my feminine qualities - well, now that I've found it I am embarrassed with myself for frequently forgetting that part of my "feminine appeal" should include looking as attractive for him as possible. When you're told all your life that you're a special, perfect princess and any man would be lucky to have you, even though I know it's plain wrong, it is too easy sometimes to fall back into the patterns of not putting forth as much effort as I should. I am surely not the only one who has struggled with this, and I am hoping someone here who has overcome this hurdle can give me some advice, and perhaps some ladies who are currently in a similar boat can commiserate.