Thank you.

I'm so grateful for all the advice and comments I received. You all helped set me straight.

BTW I was so ashamed of myself I deleted the old post.

I posted about a month ago regarding a disagreement between my husband and I (over my job). He wanted me to quit (told me to) and I did not want to do that. I felt bad for resisting and being selfish but I liked my job, it was important to me and I was good at it.

Well, I was wrong. My husband had valid concerns about my safety and long term well-being. His stance on my job and opinions on where I worked/who I worked with were logical and supported by facts. On the other hand, i was being sensitive, defensive, and perhaps a tad prideful. Basically, I was caught up in my feelings and being driven by my ego, I wasn't aware of that at the time, though. I need to work on that. .

I've realized it wasn't being 'told what to do' that upset me / fueled my resistance. (I kind of like it when he gets a little bossy, confidence and assertiveness are super hot imo)

Once I got my ego in check the real feelings surfaced. I was hurt, ashamed, really sad. I felt like a failure and assumed he felt the same. I thought he was waiting for me to fail, not that he wanted it to happen but knew it was coming. (This was based on several previous conversations about my job, not one incident.) I wondered if he lost respect for me or loved me less or looked at me differently. Maybe he thought those negative experiences were my fault? The result of bad decisions or lack of intelligence. He must think I'm unable to protect myself. So, does he see me as a weak, pitiful, victim? I was positive he had no confidence in me. I felt like I'd let myself down along with everyone who believed in me or depended on me. Oh, I had so many of these thoughts. I made myself cry for hours.

Most importantly, I apologized to him for being dismissive and stubborn when he was trying to keep me safe. I told him why I was so resistant, it had nothing to do with him controlling me or anything like that. I felt compelled to prove I was strong and resilient and capable of doing hard things. People tend to assume the opposite about me. Again with my ego. I have work to do there clearly.

We talked and I let him know I I hope my job, more specifically the things that took place there, didn't change anything. I shared some of the things I was worried about and none of them had crossed his mind. He doesn't want me in a dangerous environment and believes there are other people I'm better suited to help. It's that simple.

He knows I like things a little dicey, he does too (partly why he's in law enforcement). I'll find other ways to meet that need.

Okay, I might need a trip to the psych ward now. Thanks again.