Hi everyone,

I’m 26 female and very single. Mostly because I spent the last few years hung up on someone I never even dated (yes I know it’s ridiculous, I’m finally seeking therapy). We never had a sexual relationship but had a friendship - and almost dated but I ruined it with my trust issues/ inability to communicate. He has now been with another girl for almost three years. The girl he started seeing when I accidentally pushed him away. The guy is as alpha as they come - think captain of the football team, president of student council, worshipped by everyone basically and you can’t even hate him because he’s actually a genuinely amazing good hearted person. Him and his gf are living the life I dreamed of having with him - traveling the world and studying at Ivey league grad schools. He’s a few years younger which makes all of this more bitter as I feel as if I’ve wasted my high SMV years hung up on him (22-25) and overall lost myself (I’ve been depressed for so long I don’t do any of the hobbies I used to, life is very grey and I have no idea how I let it get this far). Alpha dude has even picked up the hobbies he used to admire me for and is actually better at them..

I never felt about anyone the way I felt about him and have only compared everyone I’ve dated since to him. I waited my entire life to meet someone like him and now I’m worried I’ll wait another decade to feel that way about someone again. I ruined a great relationship with an amazing guy who came after him last year because of it (he’s moved on too now and is dating a 23 year old). I am worried that I’ve missed my time to find a guy better than this alpha and I will stay in this alpha widowed state forever. I had hoped to be engaged by now but it’s looking like a long road ahead. I was wondering if anyone has any tips or resources or practical advice at all for getting over this? Has anyone come through this successfully and what did it take?