Hey guys! Just to clarify, i've read and searched through many many RPW posts. I've read the all the things recommended before posting a question, but I have yet to find the exact advice i'm looking for. I've been in 2 relationships and just broke up with my ex a couple months ago due to long distance. However, now that I look back with an RPW lens I see that I was really bitchy and naggy at times.

I'm 22 and about to graduate from college and am starting to look for a job (will probably go back to grad school later). I live in a really small town and haven't met many guys worth dating, honestly. Granted, I only go out to bars when I do go out, but it's with my girlfriends so I don't usually want to meet or talk to guys when i'm out with them. I've been pretty lonely and i'm upset because i'm pretty sure my ex has already hooked up with other girls. I haven't hooked up with anyone since because I don't really like having sex outside a relationship. I've felt pretty depressed lately and I feel like i'm getting old and no one will ever love me. As bad as it sounds, I have been using alcohol to make myself feel better about everything. I think way too much about everything, and I like how it makes me stop doing that. I like that I can be less introverted and awkward when I've had a couple drinks. I know this is unhealthy. I definitely don't have a problem, but I could see it becoming one to be completely honest.

I want to use this time to better myself in every way. I already know how to dress feminine, but I want some sort of mental enlightenment. I want to be kind and gracious and happy. I want to be supportive and thoughtful. I don't want to be a push over like I am now and be surprised when people take advantage of that. I feel so lost. I don't have the money for therapy or anything. I graduated without debt and got a STEM degree. I am proud of my accomplishments, but I am not happy. I don't want to rush to date another guy right now even though I miss having someone. I want to be the best version of myself before I start dating again. But how can I go about making that change? How does one take little steps every day? I'm so overwhelmed and there's so much I could work on that it gives me anxiety. Any advice would be truly appreciated. Thanks so much!