A child's upbringing does not define there future. You always have a choice.

TLDR:

This is a long asf read you've been warned.

My past challenges the concept that a child's upbringing defines there future, I am living proof that there is always a choice in how our lives pan out.

I've never really discussed my past, but here I think it may find useful to others just to see that it doesn't matter how many crap things happen in your life, you always have a choice. The below is simply what my life was full of growing up, the things I went through and where i'm at now.

THE LESSON:

You always have a choice in life. That choice is yours alone to make. A person's upbringing does not define there future. Nor does anything change the fact you have a choice every time you wake up in the actions you take.

I've always turned away from revealing my past, its possible outside of my family and people that were there for the interactions, the amount of people that know amounts to about two. I never wanted to because I never wanted the pity that would of come with it. I never wanted to be that guy of "you dont know what i've been through." I never wanted excuses made for me.

Here however, I feel me revealing this could be useful to others, as a source of inspiration to realise that nothing really ever is that bad and at the end of everything what you do with your life is your choice.

My Family

To understand my family, I'll give a short description so that you guys have somewhat of an understanding into there character.

My father: Complete natural alpha. Old school straight forward hard ass father. The type the world needs now. Wrapped in tattoos and done his fair share of bad things in the world. However, he was always a hard worker. He was rarely around when I was growing up due to work commitments.

My mother: The hamster of the underworld. No one in my family remains in contact with my mum due to her nature. She was purely manipulative and vile in allot of ways, abused drugs and alcohol all her life & I assume still does. Cheated on my father in there marriage and treated me like shit day in and day out up until I was 13 which then I was allowed to make my own choice and I moved out to live with my father.

Three sisters, who raised me due to the fact dad wasn't around and mum was on drugs and doing god knows what.

With that being said, here goes.

At a young age, Dad was always working, his presence being home was rare to non-existent. Mum was home but mind was elsewhere through the use of drugs and alcohol with the millions of parties she threw at the house while dad was working.

As partly a result of my dads past that my mum was involved in, our house tended to be full of bikies, who without my sister at one point would have killed me. On a night, one decided to put something in my milk bottle, to which my sister saw and immediately attacked him which i'm sure you can all understand didn't result in good things for her.

My father was bringing in quite allot of money due to his extended work hours, or so he thought. My mum was spending the money he earn't on her gambling habits and intoxicating ways.

They had a divorce. I spent my childhood years going through family law court, being manipulated by my mother to say things that weren't true so that my father was unable to attain custody of me. Had I of been old enough to think slightly for myself, things may have turned out differently, but I was still too young to really think independently. Plus we all know how family law court is, in my dads words. "If you don't have tits and an ass you wont win."

So my dad lost every cent he ever had trying to attain custody of me which failed, and I grew up in my mothers house. Over the years as I grew up she began treating me worse and worse, with consistent fights, screaming and abuse. Being physically abused by her alcoholic boyfriend, this resulted in me getting to the point where I was breaking down every day going to school, I went from being a straight A student to failing every class.

I continued this course through high school, even after moving in with my father. Things just never really got me back. From year 9 to 11. I ended up in the wrong groups and went heavily into drug use, partying and ended up with severe depression and chronic anxiety. I lost my friends simply due to the fact I couldn't socialise, I was a wreck. No one wanted to know me and there was no one for me.

Year 12 came, and I came to a point where I wanted something better for myself, I had no one in my family to help me, I was the black sheep of the family. I knew I had one chance to make things right for myself and I took it. I turned my grades from failing to passing every class with high grades and achieving two certificates, one of which was a cert 4 along with graduating from high school.

Throughout high school I had a oneitis like you wouldn't believe. I chased a girl for 2 years, as her "best friend". Watched her date other guys time after time, longing for the hope that she would turn to me. You all know the story. I ended up getting her and we dated for 11 months. At the end of high school we have schoolies which is a week to celebrate graduating.

I spent my schoolies with her as much as I physically could be because I had a gut feeling if I left her alone she would cheat on me. On the 6th night I left due to having an argument with the owner of the apartment, on the one night I left her alone, we all know how things went down.

I was ruined as we all were at some stage. My anxiety and depression came back harder than ever and I went into a rut.

Now. After TRP. After 18 years of suffering and bullshit within my life. This is what i'm doing now.

Im studying a diploma of web development 5 days a week. No one pushed me to get involved with it but me, I set it up myself and I carry everything out myself. I have a great teacher who puts me through hell to achieve success and keeps me in line. He knows I want to achieve well and takes the time to ensure I am.

Gym every morning day in and day out.

Training martial arts 5 nights a week and I'm killing it, I may be competing at nationals some time next year and depending on how I do there maybe world.

Reading on the side on web development/our core books as well as planning business ideas.

I have a decent social life, its mediocre simply because I'm too focused on me right now.

I'm only 18.

The main thing to take from this is that I've been handed allot of shit in my life. There's more that I haven't discussed here but it isn't relevant. I think what I described is enough to gather things were not all well with my upbringing. However I never made excuses even when I had every reason to continue my path and amounting to nothing.

You always have a choice. There's no excuse for anything and everything thats occurred in my life is the sole reason I am against the concept that a child's upbringing defines there future. It has nothing to do with it, influences it maybe, but there's always a choice.

Stop being a bitch and making excuses. This life is yours and there's no reason not to make something of yourself. Regardless of the card's you've been dealt.