EDIT -- Last email from her in 2009 http://imgur.com/iwGzPku EDIT2 -- my response -how I left it- http://imgur.com/gYivdtX

http://imgur.com/3b3rU8m

TL;DR - ex-fiance (cheated on me) is ending her third marriage and wants to be friends again (different States)

OK, we were too young. Blah blah blah.

I moved around a lot as a kid, as in 3 elementary schools and 4 high schools in two States and two countries. I was NOT a military kid, my Mom was just crazy. So me and my 2 sisters and our mother. I was steeped in bluepill for years. I ended up getting emancipated at 17 and have lived on my own ever since.

When I was 19 I fell hard for my 17 year old very religious (father was a minister) girlfriend. We got engaged to be engaged, promissory ring. I provided her a car, bought her clothes and jewelry. We went on church missions together - all the while having sex and dealing with her guilt over it. She instigated but then felt like a bad Christian, would ask me to help her keep celibate and then threaten to fuck my friends if I wouldn't put out and then cry about how she wasn't living right. Well, we both worked at the same fast food joint on different shifts. She starts fucking a co-worker alpha type and I found out. She hamstered the fuck out on me. I was spying, no trust in her yada yada.

At 19 I was an independent man, with bills and leases. When I said I was going to do something I meant it. I foolishly believed others were able to make and keep promises. I had been to her everything my mother had claimed not to have received in all her failed relationships, everything that my sisters and I had been taught that a Man must be, but it was not enough. My world shattered and I have not really ever come back from the devastation. This subreddit is helping. This all occurred over 20 years ago.

She ends up getting married to an older abusive guy when she is 20ish, gets divorced. Marries again 3-5 years later, and catches him with her younger sister- divorce. Then 6 or so years ago, she meets another older guy and gets married and is soon pregnant. She and I have some long distance phone calls after I see her while driving across the US. She reassures me that her husband is fine with our having conversations on the phone, for I am just a friend who knows her from practically childhood(in her eyes). This continues until the phone bill shows four 3hour calls a week. I am then told not to call, and that we cannot be friends on Facebook any longer. I comply. Keep in mind that I am still friends with her parents and her sister, and have been all these years. I get them from the airport when they come to town to visit family, etc.

I really get along with her, but I fear my old bluepill ways. It is not practical to think that I will not develop feelings for her should we spend any time together. Hopeful romantic idiot.