A question from a woman

The_smartest_man_evr · 2013-11-17T15:18:02+00:00

I'd be far more interested in his description of your relationship because you have an obvious bias which will cause you to present your case in a way that is favorable to you.

He has sufficiently convinced you of his value as a mate which is why you continue to be with him. It could be that your sexual market value has caused you to settle, or it could be that he is indeed a high value man. If his value diminishes in your eyes you will begin searching for a suitable replacement if your circumstances allow for it. The Red Pill isn't for people who have perfect relationships, (the immaculate description of your relationship I find extremely dubious), it's for men who have been duped in to thinking their own desires are irrelevant by a culture that is /terrified/ of scrutinizing women.

frequentlywrong · 2013-11-17T15:08:52+00:00

I do not ‘shit test’ my boyfriend and he does not ‘game’ me.

Yes you do (you just don't see it as such) and yes he does. The way he acts around you is how he acts with women, which is different from how he acts around men.

2013-11-17T15:31:52+00:00

Had a relationship very similar to yours at that age. I'm pretty sure my g/f would have described it as exactly the same. I thought she was a unicorn that broke all the RP rules.

So what happened? My career didn't turn out to be as successful as she hoped as quickly as she hoped, and after seven years she ditched me.

replyaccount · 2013-11-17T15:49:59+00:00

What is it we're supposed to explain to you exactly? Great that you have a (in your mind) healthy relationship. Red Pill isn't some kind of magic bullet. It's a philosophy that helps explain biological and social tendencies to help disenfranchised men who have been misled in their romantic lives.

You are happy now because both of you are essentially on an even playing field and probably feel that you can't do any better. I don't believe for one second that if a man of higher value socially, economically, or physically (better yet, a man with a combination of 2 or 3 of those traits) than your current BF showed interest in you, you wouldn't drop him like a rock for the new guy. Love is a silly notion and only lasts until someone you perceive to be higher value (for whatever reasons) comes along and gives you attention.

In short, TRP isn't about "putting women in their place", it's about giving tools for men to increase their sexual market value, improve their personal satisfaction, and understand what a woman desires in a man. The fact that you came here for self validation kind of proves we're right, in one aspect at the very least.

Cold_August · 2013-11-17T15:06:58+00:00

You give us a paragraph and expect us to explain how it fits into red pill theory as if something as complex as a relationship can be explained so briefly.

Invalidusers · 2013-11-17T15:19:12+00:00

I'm not going to dissect your entire post and talk about everything you said, I'll leave that to someone else. I just wanted to point out one thing to you. You said that you admit to having been attracted to other men during the relationship but you didn't act on it. (Bravo for not cheating btw) Now, what is it about those other men that attracted you? And to go with that question, how would it change your opinion of your boyfriend if he began to show those attributes?

zipzo · 2013-11-17T15:43:57+00:00

[permanently deleted]

2013-11-17T16:00:47+00:00

Two pieces of advice...

Read the links in the side bar.
Head over to /r/redpillwoman to get a more touchy feely answer from a woman who has accepted red pill. They are probably more receptive to what you're trying to figure out.

rukken · 2013-11-17T15:43:14+00:00

TRP is not a sexist or misogynistic sub, no matter what askwomen has told you.

"I am a woman who recently learned about this subreddit elsewhere on the internet. I don’t agree with your philosophy and there are many lifestyle choices/opinions of mine you would not agree with, but I want to preface this post by emphasizing that this is not an attack nor an attempt to persuade."
Cool.

"I am not so naive as to believe anything I will say will change your opinions and vis versa, I merely want to better understand how you came to the opinions you did and how you continue to justify those opinions. Specifically, I am curious how you explain relationships like my and my boyfriend’s."
Cool. But first, TRP is a concept. The people who apply it (with great success, i might add) are not representative of the concept.

"My boyfriend and I have been together for over 3 years and plan to be so indefinitely."
Thats usually the plan in a serious relationship.

"We are deeply in love and very happy together. There is a high possibility we will get married someday. We are equals in nearly every way in our relationship."
Lemme stop you right there. In alot of ways, TRP is ABOUT equality. Sometimes it may not seem that way because in most situations, the only way to get equality is the antithesis of having a 'giving' mentality. Only going half way doesnt work. In a relationship like yours, youve just got a more balanced outcome. Which is a good thing. Its just not a very easy thing to consistently get.

"For example, although I am employed and he is not (we are both college students), we live frugally enough that he is not dependent on me financially or feels any pressure to spend money on me he cannot afford."
He shouldnt have to feel any pressure to spend any money on you at all. Im sure that wasnt how you meant it, but THIS is what TRP is about. He is not a walking wallet. Nor are you. Now, in TRP, having a woman buy you a gift is normally a good sign. Yes, thats inequal. But its often the only way to ensure she isnt expecting a form of servitude.

"We have been living together informally for 2 years, but formally moved in together this semester. We share the menial responsibilities of living together equally: we cook and do dishes together (except for occasional ‘wooing’ nights we take turns being in charge of); we share cleaning responsibilities; we joint care for our pets. We both keep open minds in discussions with each other and have changed each other’s opinions on multiple occasions. We have very open communication about sex."
Thats just a generally good relationship in my books.

"Although I have been attracted to other people while we have been dating, I have never had the desire to cheat, and never, ever would."
Thats good.

"I do not ‘shit test’ my boyfriend and he does not ‘game’ me."
Thats because youre not a bitch and he doesnt need to. But dont you see that you not shit testing people is the exception and not the norm, and him not needing to game you is luck on his part for meeting someone like you?

"He is my best friend and my partner. Additionally, it is relevant to note that, although I don’t self label as ‘feminist’ (I dislike the term), I do agree with the ideals of traditional feminism and feel that, in nearly every case, people should be treated without regard to gender."
I agree with gender equality. I strongly detest modern gender feminism and the matriarchal bullshit thats going on in a female privileged society. Remember: Feminism is more than just equality. Theres more than one kind of feminism. Furthermore, men and women are different. If you want to be treated like a man, bumping into a man can lead to a shove and a few blows to the head on a bad night. You dont want to be treated without regard for gender, you want to be treated with neither privileged nor discrimination. Thats never going to happen, because no matter what the law says, people will always be people and people have identitites, and opinions, and so on and so forth. Right now, im trying to stick to things i can prove.

"How is a relationship like mine explained by red pill theory? Are we just incredibly lucky? Are we actually in a red pill relationship and just don’t realize it?"
Sort of. Again, TRP is a concept. For all intents and purposes it seems to be fine.

"Are we actually not happy and just don’t realize it, or happy, but not as happy as we could be?"
Thats impossible to diagonose from here. If that were the case you wouldnt mention it in your post, eh :P

"Are we a ticking time bomb that is unsustainable?"
No.

"Does this relationship work for us but just isn’t the kind of relationship you want?"
That depends on the person, not TRP.

"I wasn’t completely certain what was important to include in the description of my relationship and didn’t want to inundate you with self-indulgent text, but feel free to ask me any questions you feel are relevant."
You gave me plenty, thanks. :)

Exactly_what_I_think · 2013-11-17T16:02:07+00:00

from a woman

Irrelevant.

Tit's or GTFO

2013-11-17T16:24:23+00:00

People should be treated without regard to gender.

Men and women are inherently different, they are on different ends of the spectrum (that sometimes overlaps) due to hormone differences. Evolutionary biological differences between men and women (man has lots of seed, women can only manage one per 9 month period) mean that we have differing goals for propagation success. That has all lead to the difference between men and women, and why they should be treated differently (because they will treat you differently).

2013-11-17T17:26:56+00:00

How is a relationship like mine explained by red pill theory?

Blue pill relationships work all the time. Until they don't. Your relationship may be perfect now, even from a Red Pill stand point, but eventually one of you is going to have their feelings change. All emotions are conditional, especially love, and eventually you'll be sick of him not being able to give you gifts or you'll begin to think since you earn more money you shouldn't have to take care of the pets and pay for their living costs. Maybe you'll wish you hadn't spent your college years in a relationship and had experienced the love of other people while you were in the perfect situation for it, so you'll try for the open relationship discussion and slowly have the relationship crumble around you from the inside.

Who knows, could be that you'll get to the age of 83 and still love each other, could be you'll get to the age of 83 and want to replace his heart medication with potassium cyanide because you've had to listen to him snore for the past 6 decades.

Just because your relationship is Blue Pill doesn't mean it won't work, but it doesn't disprove what we believe.

And for the record: I choose Red because everything I learnt as a kid was wrong. I was raised with feminine traits constantly being encouraged and masculine ones being suppressed. I was a little bitch my entire childhood, the Red Pill told me what I was doing wrong and I instantly saw improvement once I acted on the advice.

LMS_THEORY_ · 2013-11-17T15:19:43+00:00

Isn't TRP about self improvement, a man controlling his own destiny, free from feminist bias? If so then what possible effects could it have on the OP ' relationship?

2013-11-17T15:55:14+00:00

I'm not going to comment on your whole post because I'm tired but let me make this point:

You say things are basically all equal in the relationship correct? You seem to fill his emotional needs (for a man this is not the most important thing in a relationship, despite what many guys say), he fills your emotional needs and, for a woman, this is probably the most important thing she requires. It would be extremely hard for anyone to argue that.

When I talk about emotional needs I mean having someone to talk to at home or someone to complain about things to. I think it is a fair assessment to say that in general women are more apt to need more emotional support than men.

It may seem like I'm not going anywhere with this, but stay with me here.

When it comes to sex, men are much more apt to have this need satisfied more than the emotional support. For women, sex is typically much lower on the totem poll and is not as big of a need to be satisfied when compared to the emotion support she requires. Again, in general this would be a hard argue.

A man is typically much more worried about getting his dick sucked like there's no tomorrow than worried about telling a girl how much of an asshole his boss was at work today. A woman is typically much more worried about telling her guy about her day and how big of an asshole her boss is rather than worrying about getting her muff licked like a lollipop all night.

This is thousands and thousands of years of evolution, there's a biological reason sex is important to men and a biological reason emotional needs are important to women.

Okay now, so now let me ask you a question. Does your boyfriend ever withhold listening to you or fulfilling your emotional needs because he's just not in the mood? My guess would be no, that's not the case or very rarely.

Now let me ask you this, Do you ever withhold sex from your boyfriend because you're not in the mood? My guess would be yes, you have. I would also gather to say that you have much more control over when then both of you have sex, correct?

How is it fair that he is always there for you, meeting your emotional needs, when you won't always be there when he requires you, for his sexual needs.

My point is, many woman state that their relationship is totally equal listing things like you did (both split bills, split the chores, blah, blah, blah), but when it comes down to it women in almost all cases are able to control the sexual encounters in the relationship, and thus creating a very unequal partnership.

Sex is not the most important thing in the relationship and I realize this, but it is still very important to most every man.

When a man takes The Red Pill, he is liberated from this power a woman has over controlling his sexual needs for many different reasons. He understands that he should be the one controlling the sex as well as the emotional relationship. A true Red Piller will in no way abuse this but rather meet all of his partners needs while also making sure his needs are met as well, thus creating a very equal relationship.

SoftHarem · 2013-11-17T16:31:06+00:00

Fucking hell. Single cases can never prove a general concept right or wrong. Just goes to show once more that women can't logic.

2013-11-17T15:44:50+00:00

this is dumb

The_smartest_man_evr · 2013-11-17T15:14:38+00:00

On a scale of 1 to 10, how good looking are you?

JohnPeel · 2013-11-17T15:14:27+00:00

You do sort of validate what we've been saying by coming here. You're having a hamster meltdown and want us to make you feel better because you're starting to doubt yourself.

jquest23 · 2013-11-17T15:41:57+00:00

". Although I have been attracted to other people " .very interesting statement. Why ?

GayLubeOil · 2013-11-17T18:06:41+00:00

There is a chance that both of you are on the ugly end of the spectrum therefore no one realy has an opportunity to cheat.

ajswdf · 2013-11-17T18:14:22+00:00

It's hard for anybody to say for sure without knowing more about the relationship, but there's pretty much two ways to view it.

The pessimist would say that you're fine dating him now, but eventually you'll start getting bored and unconsciously resent him for not being more ambitious.

The optimistic view is that he does do some red pill things, you just don't realize what those things are. Think about these questions:

Does he ever say no to you (not all the time, but at least whenever he legitimately disagrees with something)?

Does he ever tease you (not in a mean way, but if you trip and fall would he laugh)?

Is he needy?

These are the kinds of things that can effect his sexual value, but you don't mention.

kudosxv · 2013-11-17T16:38:43+00:00

You sound like a girl I know who settled with her husband straight out of high school. She constantly lies to herself and I catch her doing it but sometimes I'm too nice to call her out on it.

Example time: I was talking about how women like when their man gets attention from other women because it shows value and her emotions get revving. Doesn't matter if it's good or bad emotion they will be turned on regardless. She tells me women hit on her husband ALL THE TIME blah blah blah her husband is so great and it does nothing for her just gets her mad. I give up explaining this because women will never understand even their own emotions.

The next night we are having dinner and talking and I tell her to make a list about the +/- on her husband and their relationship. She mentioned she doesn't find him so attractive anymore and he doesn't really take care of himself. I personally know he doesn't do shit or leave the house so women do not hit on him like she told me happens all the time. She leaves him home to play MMO computer games when she goes out with friends.

My point? Women will lie to themselves just to make themselves feel better. Your relationship probably isn't as great as you're letting on which is why I think you're looking for answers here.

Title	A question from a woman
Author	[deleted]
Upvotes	1
Comments	103
Date	November 17, 2013 2:47 PM UTC (12 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/TheRedPill
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/TheRedPill/comments/1qtp1o/a_question_from_a_woman/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/TheRedPill/a-question-from-a-woman.8033 https://theredarchive.com/post/8033

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