Someone posted on another TRP thread that once you've swallowed it, you're never capable of having any 'real' relationships or feeling anything, a monster. Here's what I think.

I was a black belt blue pill beta, through social conditioning and brainwashing by my parents, family, society, media. I always preached (while being a virgin lol), yeah those guys are having sex with the girls but they can't have a meaningful relationship, me talking about deep topics with these girls (where I was clearly in the friendzones and refused to accept), this was something real, or apparently I thought so.

That's what relationships are about, knowing the person inside out, talking, trusting them, these guys who want sex were monsters. Why didn't any of these girls be with me let alone fuck me then? Because I was whoring myself out, giving emotional support, on demand validation and ego boosts, all in exchange for nothing.

I was a rabbit jumping for a carrot on a stick. A carrot I would never get to taste.

Fast forward being fucked over by being beta blue pill multiple times, I started reading into all of this stuff, not really red pill (I came to these conclusions myself after seeing female behaviors), but just seddit kinda stuff.

So now, I see that the exact same girls, I make it known what value they have to me, I don't inflate their egos and tell them they're beautiful and amazing and perfect if they're not, and I'll let them know I want to fuck them because I find them attractive. What happens now? They become obsessed with me, they want to date me, be my girl, I've even been proposed to by a woman. I just fuck them, and everything is on my terms, they know I do not give a fuck, there is no pedestal. I'm on the pedestal.

Am I a monster now? Am I dead inside? No. I feel 10000x happier, I consistently get what I want, I understand woman logic (or the lack of it). I can pick whoever I want to be my girlfriend pretty much, if I feel a girl has more to offer and I want to spend time with her, I can. It's my choice now.

Always have sex with a girl first. Sex is her bargaining chip, it's her tool. Once you've taken that from her she will change, she will let herself be completely vulnerable and open to you. Now you can see how she really is. She will let her guard down for you. Once you've had sex with a girl, you can so easily choose if you want something more from her, she will insist on it, but is she worth it? 'If you like me then we can hang out without having sex', but do I really like her, as a person? You can see clearly. You are not blinded by desire now.

I can have meaningful relationships, I have many, some were committed and some we did all the gf/bf stuff while I was allowed to do what I want with other women and I told her she can, but she didn't want to.

How do I feel about all of this now? I feel like all I've done is taken full control of my life. I won't settle for that first girl from HS who was my only option because she was ugly and undesired. I won't settle for being treated like some second rate beggar in a relationship, having to be paranoid about her loyalty because I know she has no need to be loyal to me. When you're being a beta cunt, IT IS YOUR FAULT whatever happens.

Women are biologically inclined to behave in certain ways, you've seen it, it's textbook once you know about it. Stop chasing a fucking unicorn, swallow the harsh truth and embrace it, it's the only way. That's the closest thing you'll get to being happy. I still hope to find that perfect, loyal, amazing woman one day. I know she probably doesn't exist, I know I can never be fully vulnerable, I have to stay this way forever, I have to handle my problems and insecurities on my own, me weaknesses. I won't be able to share them with her. This is the burden of being a man.

Look at our fathers, a lot of them have been through hell. Have you ever seen him break down? Did you ever wonder how he's so fucking strong willed, never submitting to a god damn thing? Truth is he's not, he just knows what it means to be a masculine man. He knows that his problems, fears, insecurities are his alone and he must handle them, alone.

It's a lonely road, but it's better than the alternative.

Now I'm the guy I used to hate, and I pity the guy I used to be. I feel bad for him, I wish I could help that guy if I saw him. But I know he would never listen, he wasn't ready to. He hadn't been hurt enough. 'y...y..you can't treat women like that' 'b..b.b..but you don't love her and I do, I care about her!' No you don't you dumb fuck, you want to fuck her too, you desire her and you're lying to yourself, you have no options so this seems special to you. She's using you for your free company, emotional support, constant validation, money, while she's offering all those things and her entire being to me. It's much better to be this guy.