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[–]kempff5 points6 points7 points 11 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
This belongs in r/asktrp. You may want to repost this there. See MachiavellianRed's stickie.
[–]2IVIaskerade8 points9 points10 points 11 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
Don't ask them out. Tell them "I will be at [place] at [time]. Be there."
You're talking too much. You should be giving short answers/replies, twenty words at most. Don't ask, tell. Say "this is happening." If you're not comfortable with that, you can use "you want in?", but always make it seem that if she doesn't accept you'll just slot the next girl into the female-shaped space in your plans (abundance mentality). Escalate to sexual conversation very quickly - innuendos, trick questions, whatever, just do it.
[–]thetransplanter87 0 points1 point2 points 11 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
I've been successful with that to an extent but usually its some one who is conveniently never available.
[–]Overzealous_BlackGuy1 point2 points3 points 11 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
That means they're putting it in a nice way. They are not available for you, but don't sweat it.
[–]Disherecarl 1 point2 points3 points 11 years ago (4 children) | Copy Link
I've found the commanding a date tactic not very effective online. You need more rapport than a few messages to a stranger to nail the cheekiness that move requires. I keep the conversation short and the messages shorter. Somewhere within the first five messages, after one of you has finished a thought, just say "Well, you seem pretty cool. Wanna grab a drink sometime?" Invest your time on these sites with a well written profile, not sharing your life story. Be witty, funny and have (non-selfie)interesting pictures. The messaging is really just a formality.
[–]thetransplanter87 0 points1 point2 points 11 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link
thats essentially the problem many times i get chastised for not saying enough. "Why would I' get coffee with you I dont even know you." i usually basically introduce my self ask a question or to about them and ask if they want to meet usually for coffee to see if we click.
[–]Disherecarl 1 point2 points3 points 11 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
What does your profile look like? How do you ask them?
[–]AntixD0 points1 point2 points 11 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
yeah they usually don't like to talk,don't ask them to call,just call them up after a week or two of not texting them and tell them you just wanted to see how their life is going
[–]Disherecarl 0 points1 point2 points 11 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
You probably don't have a very interesting profile. Internet dating is all about the profile.
[–][deleted] 2 points2 points2 points 11 years ago | Copy Link
[permanently deleted]
[–]thetransplanter87 1 point2 points3 points 11 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
sex is my main goal for now i dont think ill be ready for a ltr for a long while but i find that weeks of conversations tellme very little. another odd thing is that even when i get their number they are reluctant to even skype or talk on the phone.
[–]u-r-silly0 points1 point2 points 11 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
You should answer that sharing a coffee would be a lot better way to get to know you and a better use of her time than trying to get someone of [insert dating site here]
If you think going from messaging to taking a coffee is too much of a huge step, maybe you should consider asking her for her real email adress.
Getting out of the site makes thing a bit more formal in the sense you expect someone who gave you her mail adress to not ingnore you like she does when nexting a profile. (even though she still can)
I usually use the excuse "it's not very convenient writting in here, we should use gmail, etc..."
The sooner you're out of the dating site frame, the better. If she refuses, chances are she was here for the attention, and you should stop giving her.
[–]Overzealous_BlackGuy0 points1 point2 points 11 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
I see a lot of people say put time into conversations i say don't , be brave and witty and get them to meet in under 10-15 messages. Its worked for me and I'm short and its on my profile. Take advantage of the fact your online and theres plenty of options. Push it a little, dont ask a lot of questions just talk.. These women see the same ahit over Nd over. Get them to give a number in the same sitting otherwise shell start exploring other options and forget you. A woman is going to commit emotionally to someone she met online, it only aeems like a good idea at the moment, then they get soubts and move on always set up the date 3 days ahead at the very most. Dont compliment them just be funny witty and brave dont talk about sex either.
[–]NeedRPadvice0 points1 point2 points 11 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link
Improve yourself physically and make yourself more interesting.
Wardrobe update with some intresting pics can help for starters.
and lift
I appreciate the sentiment but thats been part of the plan all along I'm dealing with women who seem to be scared of their own shadow.
[–]NeedRPadvice1 point2 points3 points 11 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
Are you in a large city or small one?
What are you doing to attract all these skittish women? Hows your profile wording?
Do your conversations flow easy?
[–]thetransplanter87 1 point2 points3 points 11 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
yeah I live next to the university of oregon so theres a bit of panic on top of the normal weirdness of people here.
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[–]kempff5 points6 points7 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]2IVIaskerade8 points9 points10 points (2 children) | Copy Link
[–]thetransplanter87 0 points1 point2 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]Overzealous_BlackGuy1 point2 points3 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]Disherecarl 1 point2 points3 points (4 children) | Copy Link
[–]thetransplanter87 0 points1 point2 points (3 children) | Copy Link
[–]Disherecarl 1 point2 points3 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]AntixD0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]Disherecarl 0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–][deleted] 2 points2 points2 points | Copy Link
[–]thetransplanter87 1 point2 points3 points (2 children) | Copy Link
[–]u-r-silly0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]Overzealous_BlackGuy0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]NeedRPadvice0 points1 point2 points (3 children) | Copy Link
[–]thetransplanter87 1 point2 points3 points (2 children) | Copy Link
[–]NeedRPadvice1 point2 points3 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]thetransplanter87 1 point2 points3 points (0 children) | Copy Link