Whether it is TRP or other places like it, I notice something about the kinds of guys who are attracted to these kinds of communities, at least initially. If I had to give a profile to the kinds of guys who come on to these sorts of places, it would be of a guy who didn't have much (or any luck) with women growing up and is trying to fix that now. The socially savvy guy who figured out the game in high school or college won't really need these kinds of resources as much. Guys like that had their fun, found a group they belonged to, had some fulfilling experiences with women, and generally didn't need to seek out these kinds of places.

Now you have the guys who were on the outside looking in during those days, they missed out. For these guys, there was no taking the pretty girl out to prom or making out with that beauty at a house party with the two of you being 18. When these guys come to places like TRP, they have the goal of trying to sleep with as many different women as possible and I am all for that.

The issue is, it's not that these guys really want to be with a lot of different women, they want to be acknowledged as the kinds of guys who can get with a lot of different women.

I mean sure, initially, getting with lots of different women is awesome and it feels great. Pussy is really just pussy, it's sex, you do it, it feels great when you do it, and then you move on. Eventually, it starts to get kind of old but you will find that many of these guys who are getting into the game late are either angry or they feel like they have something to prove. I think part of it has to do with how media and society portray love and relationships at different age groups.

Before the age of 24 or so, love and relationships are supposed to be fun, exciting, flashy, and shallow but in a good way. Girls go for guys they are attracted to and could care less about stability and settling down. It's all about making out with that hot guy at a house party or hooking up with one of her male classmates on spring break, there is a cool factor attached to it. It's just sex, fucking, and things like money aren't even on her mind as much.

As you get into your late 20s, love and relationships are supposed to be "serious". People aren't as concerned about validation, flashiness, and the excitement factor. Everyone is an "adult" now and that means you're supposed to act your age as a guy. No more of the fun exciting stuff, intimacy, or any of that sort of thing; it is all about supposed to be strictly business meaning that she is picking you because she is looking to get married and searching out stability. Things like income start to matter so even if she gets with you, it is because of your income and what you do for a living rather than how handsome or cool you are.

relationships in your teens and early 20s: "OMG she is so going to get banged by that hot guy she just met"

relationships in your late 20s and on: "Oh he works for this bank, they are going to go on a few dates, get married, have kids, and start their lives".

In a nutshell, the guys want relationships in their late 20s to be like those in their early 20s, they want to be acknowledged as Chads rather than as a betabuck, which is why I titled my thread "Chasing Chad". Many of you are angry that when sex was so exciting and new among your peers, you didn't get it. Now that you're older and it is just a part of life, you might get it but you're angry that it doesn't have the same magic associated with it that it did in your teenage and early 20s years.

You even see it play out with some famous guys.

Formerly a 22 year old virgin, Hugh Hefner started Playboy and he let the whole world know of his greatness. While a lot of guys respect Hugh Hefner, the truth is that missing out on so much by the time he was 22 in terms of women, it undoubtedly created a fire inside of him to flash his game to the entire world. Hugh Hefner not only got laid a lot, he had to let the world know that he was getting laid a lot because he wanted to be acknowledged as the kind of guy who got laid a lot.

That's what a lot of men truly want, not to just get laid, but also the respect, validation, and fulfillment from society that comes from getting laid.

And the advice given, on both extremes, is just not good enough.

1 - On one end, you have the mature users saying "validation is overrated, live for yourself and forget about it".

While this might seem like good advice on the surface, it is not really that great in the long term. The truth is, it is just running away from the problem rather than addressing it head on. Sure, you can be the next Mark Zuckerberg and start a wealthy business or invest yourself in your woodworking hobby to take mind off of it, but the issue is always going to be there. Time and time again, the more you take your mind off of it and downplay it, it will come up and you will feel the burn from it.

You can't completely forget about it, it is always going to be a part of your identity. Sure, you'll lie to yourself and say how Chad is just a loser but deep down inside, you know that's not true. You will act self-righteous and think you're better than Leonardo DiCaprio because while he is fucking models, you're putting your energy into woodworking and being a "better overall person" unlike him. Again, not going to cut it, because validation is a big part of life.

2- On the other end, you will have guys who overcompensate by trying to get with as many different girls as possible.

The same guys will act like 20 year olds at the age of 30, hook up with a ton of different women, even chase after women as young as 18, and try to seek validation from getting laid. Issue here is that these guys will still feel that same inadequate feeling that guys in number 1 will. Many of these guys will start to feel odd for being a 30 something that mainly hangs out with 20 somethings and some 20 somethings will start to wonder why these guys are the way they are at 30.

Now you have a Peter Pan syndrome taking place to where a guy in his 30s who missed out is acting like some frat bro in college. Eventually, this guy will start to feel that deep down, he doesn't belong and is playing catch up while others his age who didn't miss out have found a higher purpose in life. This guy is Chasing Chad by trying to emulate the same experiences that Chad had but unfortunately, getting with a hot 18 year old when you're 18 yourself is a lot more different than doing so when you're 30 (if you even manage to pull that off).

PUAs often try to do this and many other guys who are in similar situation try to do it too, bringing in drama into their lives and trying to live something they missed out on. If it goes on for a long time, it usually leads to depression.

So what is the answer?

What is the way for men in this situation to fix their situation and finally be at peace? I will save that for another thread, for now, lets just acknowledge that there is a problem.