Co-Worker shit test

rugbytitsandmedicine · 2013-08-11T19:51:27+00:00

Sexual harrasement allegations in 3..2...

TDCRedPill · 2013-08-11T22:43:57+00:00

Keep the texts any way possible (SMS Backup+ for android is GREAT for this) so you have evidence in case of future problems. Send a text that is short and sweet like "I'm sorry, but I am not interested in you romantically, and you're behavior has made me too uncomfortable to be interested in a friendship. We are coworkers, and will never be anything else. Please stop contacting me for anything not directly work related." Then, take it to your boss or HR department about it. The frame you work off of is 'Listen, I don't want to cause a problem or file a claim, I just wanted to give you a heads up about this because her behavior is making me miserable and making my work awkward as hell. Maybe I shouldn't have agreed to meet as friends that movie night, and I'll take responsibility for that mistake, but this has to end.'

If you don't bring it to HR/boss first, you're boned. She'll go to HR with lies, giving her word more weight by being first and being female, and your evidence may not be enough to win out. You do it first and professionally and any problems brought up by her are the ramblings of a spurned spinster that has made her intentions very clear in your texts.

delta_hedge · 2013-08-11T20:11:20+00:00

she is 40 and uses "lol"?

smurfcake77 · 2013-08-11T22:36:03+00:00

don't know if this is the right advice, but i would probably tell her that my new girlfriend is real jealous, hence you don't want to communicate outside of work anymore. "too much relationship-stress" (yes, i lie to people i don't care for)

TRPsubmitter · 2013-08-11T20:19:17+00:00

Instantly thought of this scene in Fatal Attraction when I read those text...good lord man...

And to refer to a 40+ lady as a "girl" is a bit of a stretch. She is way over the hill both physically and obviously emotionally.

spiralings · 2013-08-11T22:16:53+00:00

[permanently deleted]

30303030303030 · 2013-08-11T21:54:12+00:00

Message her you simply don't date inside company when she sends you "you don't like me" type of stuff and keep them saved. You don't want to make these women angry.

You don't want to fuck her so it's easy to simply turn her down.

Imagine being hit on by an 8 co-worker two levels below (so a recipe for disaster ready). It's hard.

last_to_know · 2013-08-12T16:11:17+00:00

All these people saying you need to leave your job, or that she's going ot go to HR because you don't like her... I think that's a bit ridiculous. I would just keep the messages (just in case) and just flat out tell her that you're not interested in her romantically.

merkmerk73 · 2013-08-11T22:57:45+00:00

Since she's a coworker you have to handle it more carefully because you don't want her getting batshit on you and causing you problems with HR.

If she asks if you hung out with a girl, say "yeah I met a girl at the coffee shop" or some similar bs. Don't friend her on FB or she'll stalk you trying to see her competition.

If she starts getting stupid about "you don't like me and don't ask me to hang out" and that kind of baiting nonsense, just blow it off with something like "umm I was watching some movies on Netflix" and let her stew on it.

Don't feed her infatuation by saying "yes I like you" unless you explicitly say it's just as a friend, but even that is risky, and don't ever respond immediately.

All in all the best way to defuse it is with neutrality and by being aloof.

JohnPeel · 2013-08-13T14:07:43+00:00

Put it this way, there are reasons why she is 40 and still single.

Exactly_what_I_think · 2013-08-11T19:19:49+00:00

Time to look for a new job.

be_tru · 2013-08-11T23:53:59+00:00

They're not shit tests really. She just wants your attention.

Zackcid · 2013-08-12T00:17:21+00:00

At the first read, I didn't even think those were shit tests. They seemed so weak and teenager-ish. I guess when they 'expire', they get desperate and have to revert to weaker game. I'm still not convinced these are shit tests for some reason, maybe because you aren't actually pursuing her, so what does she have to shit-test you about?

Anyway, I've been in this sort of situation; being stuck with a girl from work (have to see her every day) and she falls for me, but I feel no attraction to her. Being my beta self, I wasn't able to be direct with her and break it off, so I just gave her a bunch of indicators of disinterest and ignored most of her text messages. After a while, I gave her some bullshit excuse about "not being ready for a relationship" and she eventually left me alone. Being the more socially-adjusted gender, girls tend to pick up on these things easier and will get the message most of the time.

notapussy-punk · 2013-08-11T20:32:10+00:00

Either fuck her, or don't. I'm not understanding the problem here.

Alternatively, become buddies with her and meet her friends. Tell her you have a rule of not dating anyone you work with. That's not so hard. You're kind of leading her on otherwise, which is waste of YOUR time.

You either like these interactions, or you don't. I can't really tell.

UnpluggedMaestro · 2013-08-12T06:30:52+00:00

I'd say the best way to make a girl flake off you is to run beta game, but since she's post-wall, beta game is only going to run her wild. I... Have no idea how to help you bro, since I never ever deal with post-wall women.

cooledcannon · 2013-08-12T08:59:48+00:00

Dont bother passing the shit tests. Just tell her to go away and leave you alone.

StasisNation · 2013-08-12T11:51:36+00:00

Tsk. Have you considered seeing her naked, and then just puking?

I mean, the correct answer is in the comments below, but you should definitely consider mine.

spiralings · 2013-08-12T14:13:20+00:00

Jeez. Ya, I don't think it is too bad to be reasonably friendly with women at work. But it should be limited, and reduced at the first sign that she might be getting an interest. A long term RPer ought to be able to tell the difference between being friendly and an IOI.

Huge mistake hanging out outside of work. No excuse for that. This was clearly an IOI and you should have shut it down.

That being said, even with girls I completely ignore at work, shit tests are forthcoming. It really can't be helped I don't think, and you will need to deal with them in a positive way. Remember, in some sense a shit test is really an IOI so you deal with it, then put the coworker on ice as much as possible. Absolutely never give IOI's back.

Title	Co-Worker shit test
Author	spiralings
Upvotes	32
Comments	50
Date	August 11, 2013 7:16 PM UTC (12 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/TheRedPill
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/TheRedPill/comments/1k5pqr/coworker_shit_test/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/TheRedPill/co-worker-shit-test.6215 https://theredarchive.com/post/6215

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