The entirety of my life from 16-25 has been focused on business. Between many years of self-education on business and now having started one, it's been pretty much all I've done with my time.

Lately I've been transitioning from on-site management to more long-term building, which allows me to have flexibility. With that I've started to get back into pursuing women - it has been a long time (years). Figured I would share some observations, since I used to be good at this and am now rebuilding.

AB Testing: Observations and Improvement

I mentioned to another redditor on here about AB Testing. It's a term typically used in computer science for trying out two things (website designs) and figuring out which works better. The more iterations of this you do over time, you'll end up with a more effective result than from where you started. And you learn through a combination of observations and failure.

As a process, it's very good at eliminating any bias you might have. Rather than take outside influence/suggestion, you can sort of structure yourself toward more effective outcomes. As this relates to women, "you" and "your personality" are no longer set in concrete, but rather a fluid process that needs continual improvement.

AB Testing is how I got good with women the first time. I forced myself into uncomfortable settings/discussions with women and learned over time. In high school you're around girls your age constantly and so it's an easier time to do it. But it just as easily works with Day Game.

Applied to Day Game

I saw a TRP field report post today about someone coming back to Day Game after an extended absence. His post seemed to be lacking in a core process (although he had some observations on how he might improve on each approach), even if it more than made up for it with effort. 9 approach attempts in a day is an impressive outing, no matter what the end result.

My approach to Day Game is a lot simpler. It also requires very little incremental time commitment.

If you take a hard look at your daily lifestyle, chances are you drink a coffee and eat a meal away from home. Each and every one of these forced interactions is a chance for you to interact with other human beings. This is important for me, because again - business has consumed me for the entirety of my adult life.

Before you roll your eyes and assume you know where I'm going with this, know there is a lesson here for everyone.

Every single person you interact with is a chance to try something out. Bemoaning the lack of a classroom setting - or campus - to be around peers is a waste of breath. You can interact with adults, regardless of gender, and still accomplish daily goals (coffee, laundry, etc.). I will reiterate - it's perfectly okay to try out meeting strangers who are guys, girls that aren't your type, or people 1-2 generations different from your own.

Yes, these people are forced to talk to you - in that sense they have a barrier you must overcome to actually talk to them rather than the employee they are supposed to represent (similar to the initial hurdle you have to overcome when meeting women). Equally important, you can get immediate, valuable feedback on various small approaches that succeed/fail. And even if you work 100 hours/week on something very closed off to the rest of the world, those coffee & food breaks can give you more AB Testing than someone on autopilot in a college town.

What I've Learned

The easy approach would be to try talking to every employee in sight. As you progress into more of a comfort zone, you can start with AB Testing. And then when you're getting positive reception from most strangers you interact with, start pushing boundaries. Talk to others in line, play with your volume (get louder), and start to have fun with it. If you didn't start out looking forward to these small interactions, they will quickly grow on you.

Being interesting is not something you turn on/off when women are around. That not only puts a lot of pressure on you when the game is on, but it makes for really choppy delivery of an otherwise high quality person. If you can make yourself interesting to a 35-year old miserable pizza maker at a local hole in the wall, you're going to be able to impress girls. Maybe not universally, but you'll be much further towards that goal. And if nothing else, extra effort put into enjoying every moment in your life can hardly be considered a waste of your time/energy.

Energy exchange is perhaps the most important thing you can work on - this is why AB Testing matters. There is very little good literature that I know of, but I've been fortunate to learn from people in real life. It's really hard to nail this down but if you can imagine people you've talked to who generally just suck - negative, downbeat, low energy, non-responsive, self-absorbed in their own misery, etc - then you'll know that the opposite of this is the beginning of your quest.

Everyone has some general level of energy in them and some are better when they get "woken up" by others. If you can feel your way around others' energy (yes I know this sounds strange but I promise it's quite easy once it's a focus), then you can tailor yourself accordingly. It's a sort of real-time empathetic response that allows you to adjust to what you see in front of you. Applied properly, energy exchange leads to connections on a much deeper level more or less immediately.

Expanding on energy exchange a little more, I've met girls who started with 'bitch shield' only to be fully disarmed within 30 seconds - to the point where they were leaning against the nearest fixture in the store/countertop/etc, and comfortably talking to me like I was a long lost friend/relative they hadn't seen in years. And it's not a familiarity that you'd get with the friend zone - you can maintain masculine polarity + sexual dominance throughout. The two aren't necessarily connected.

End Results

There are now 6 locations where nearly every employee knows me well. That's close to 100 people- leading to a sort of social proof amongst strangers. And each location is the sum of 3 minute interactions where I was in and out. There really is no reason to be so closed off to the world.

  • Be Interesting - you have no excuse not to be, all the time. It's not an on/off switch, women can tell.

  • Work on Energy Exchange - Yoga/meditation, empathy, and perception played a large part for me

  • You have no excuse - 5, maybe 10 minutes as part of your normal routine already; just be more awake

  • AB Testing is a great way to build yourself into something more