Summary

Yesterday I posted Day Two of building your Captain & First mate dynamic. It was long winded and I’ll admit, not an A+ post on its own. But it’s a crucial stepping stone to a much bigger dynamic at play, which we will discuss now.

I suggest you go through my post history and read Day One and Two if you haven’t.

Context

[deleted] left a comment on a post a few days ago about why women constantly try to hold us down, tell us we are fine the way they are in general they try to bring our SMV back down.

”I don’t like ripped guys, I like my man with a belly. Makes cuddling better!” Is the general bullshit theme of this argument.

Here is my reply in depth.

How To Inspire

Also by turning you into a scrub, she doesn't have to try as hard either. She can just sit around and become fat and ugly herself since you clearly won't be going anyway. - [deleted]

This is the main reason out of all of it. Humans are innately lazy. Women are no different. If you don't set the bar, they have no reason to care. Women mimic the quality of their man.

I've been seeing this girl for a while and she's a... ermmm... fitness chick but kinda the one that goes and lifts with her friend who married to a powerlifter. She knows some stuff but isn't fully invested. She enjoys it, just not gym rat level dedication yet.

She made a comment to one of my friend a while back that she feels she almost doesn't deserve me. I'm growing rapidly as a person through all of TRP teachings and it's causing her dread and wanting to do more.

I finally took her on a gym date to show her how I work out. Didn't overload her on weights or anything, just doing the same reps/sets I am but at her weight class. I introduced her to my little friends 21's and 30 reps dropsets where she drops every 10 reps.

I utterly destroyed her. She was astonished by how grueling of a workout I put her through. The whole week before she was talking some smack on how hard her friend and husband train her over at a powerlifting gym. I just stayed silent and bit my tongue. What you don’t say can’t be used against you. If i talked mad shit and it turned out she actually did workout really hard then I’d just look like a fool. By not telling her how bad I’m going to kick her ass, it hit her hard and abruptly. Always say as little as possible, 48 laws.

At the end I saw a little bit of defeat in her eyes at the end so i just asked her a simple question to motivate her.

"What's the difference between me and my friends compared to everyone else in this gym?" (Pointing at all the career elliptical/treadmill people, yoga/Pilates class girls and kids hanging out by the machine like it's a watering hole)

"I don't know?" as she's collapsing off the leg raise which I think was her 8th set of ab workouts for the day.

"I want it more"

Analysis

Dread game is real, it doesn't have to be manipulative, you don't have to be a shitlord, it doesn't have to be done out of malice but it's damn effective. In this case I actually used it to inspire. This all happened just yesterday, she hit me up a few hours ago saying she's trying to rearrange her schedule to go with me again because she loves how much I kick her ass and push her to do better. She can also barely walk today.

But lets be real, it's easy to go to the gym for a few months. Motivation is fleeting and useless in the long haul. Discipline and a basic introspective understanding of her body and health is what you need to look for in a girl. I anticipate dread will eventually run out in the long run. At which point laziness kicks in, shit test will start and she'll tell me she's tired of my V taper six pack. Really she's just tired and turning lazy and wants me to stop setting the bar so high. It's those moments when you should inspire. Inspiring breeds admiration but it’s takes much more than just that. They'll admire the fuck out of you for keeping them focused, staying stronger than them and driving them to better themselves but you can’t inspire if you can’t even discipline yourself.

Women need a strong man for the moments they want to quit. It's easy to do things when you want to do them, it's the days you don't that test you. Most women and men will fail at this crucial moment. I have done this, you have done this. Some of you might give into your desire to fuck off for a day. I know I use too. People will make excuses, ”I’m to tired to go to the gym”, No mother fucker, being tired is your punishment for not going to sleep early enough the night before.

Allowing yourself or those that follow you any slack is enabling and reinforcing bad behavior. Every time you skip your goals you set because of some excuse is another notch on the belt of reinforcing bad behavior.

I’m the first to admit there’s days I don’t want to go to the gym because after waking up at 6am and a 9 hour work day I just want to go home and pass out. I’m human like the rest of you, we all do it. There is days I just can’t fucking sleep for whatever reason. If I give in, go home and sleep, all I’m doing is telling myself "it’s ok that I stayed up till 2am and got 4 hours of sleep", "It’s ok that I can’t manage my stress levels so they keep me up at night", "It’s ok that i forgot to run to the store to grab some Zzzquil because i know I might have trouble sleeping tonight."

I literally tell myself in these moments, "No bitch. These are all excuses. They will all hold me back. They are all hamster talk."

It’s hard to see these things for what they are. It’s extremely tempting to give into your bodies desires. Just like gluttony of the 350lbs landwhale at your office, you too are human and even if you have 7% body fat with a V taper that could cut glass, you too are susceptible to giving into your bodies desires. Even the most introspective of us can easily let them slip by as if we are as blind as the landwhale stuffing a box of Twinkies down her muzzle.

Fuck that. No. I’m going to pay the price in pain and anguish and suffer through my fuck up so I don’t do it tomorrow. The greatest personal trainer you’ll ever have is pain and anguish. Every inch you give yourself, trust me, you’ll take the mile too.

Lessons Learned

The gym doesn’t just improve your body, it improves your discipline, your ability to find and destroy weaknesses in your mentality.

I treat my body like it’s my enemy. It’s the vessel to my mind. My mind has goals and my body is just there to get the shit done. As long as i don't damage the body I don't give a shit how it feels or it's influence on my mind. It has desires and needs that will get in the way of my goals. My body wants to shut down, it wants to collapse, but I know my body better than it does. I know if I go to the gym first, then going home and pass out, it's not going to kill me. These feelings, desires and wants are just my body being a little bitch.

The fascinating thing about this is, your body and mind is a master of adapting to it's environment. The more you force it into uncomfortable situations, the more your body will naturally adapt itself. Every day it gets easier, every day you can set the bar a little higher. It starts as a snowball and eventually you'll turn into an avalanche.

Check out /u/IamGale post, "How to Win at Life Through Emotional Domination" for more information on this Phenomenon

Once you can effectively stop yourself from these pitfalls. Identify your bodies excuses, your minds excuses. Your discipline will rise, it will spill over to other aspects of your life.

Then You can spot them in others and those that follow you. When you refuse to allow them to give into their excuses. When you teach them that they can overcome their body & mind with just a little willpower and discipline, then they start to admire you.