Introduction

Hello everybody, this is the third and final installation of the "de-programming" series. If you have not read the first two, I highly recommend doing so in order to gain the most knowledge possible from this one. To find them, simply click on the search bar in the top right corner and type in "de-programming yourself part I or part II." They are meant to be read in sequential order, and each part constitutes a unique lesson in itself.

As I said earlier, this is the final entry of this series. I will begin by recapping what I've covered in the last few days, followed by the "second step" for de-programming, and will be concluded with a Q & A segment.

Recapping what we've covered so far

In part I we were introduced to a concept call Neuro-Linguistic Programming, or NLP, which essentially holds the view that there is a functional relationship between a person's thinking, behavior, and experiences. To put it soundly, NLP plays a role in how a person constructs their identity and interfaces with the world around them. Every element of a person's "being" can be categorized as a neurological, behavioral, or "programmed" phenomena. Furthermore, every individual does have the power to override their experiential programming through acute self-awareness, thus opening space for new neurological and behavioral patterns. Individuals can fundamentally change, as long as they take the necessary steps to do so.

In part II we went further in-depth with the concept of self-reflection, and learned an exercise for isolating negative personality traits, extracting them by their roots, and disassociating them from personal identities. We also briefly covered the concept of "letting go" of feelings, by simply allowing them to run their course--and have drawn a positive feedback loop between negative neuro-linguistic patterns and "bottled-up" emotions.

Without any further ado, I present Part III, enjoy.

The Second Step

Remember, there are two steps involved with "de-programming:"

1. Disassociate current cognitive and behavioral patterns from past experiences.

2: Seek new experiences that will help inculcate the new, desired cognitive and behavioral patterns.

If we've all done our jobs correctly, then we should understand by now that our thoughts and behaviors reflect our past experiences--but that we, as human beings, are adaptable enough to develop new neurological and behavioral patterns by choice. In Part II we learned a about the first step in the operation, which is introspective in nature. In Part III we will learn about the second step of the operation, which deals with external things, namely, seeking novel experiences. It could be said, then, that the first step is about "de-programmming" and the second step is about "re-programming." First we remove the malware and viruses, then we install new, better, software.

The second exercise

Before I explain the second exercise, I would like to clarify something. The only way that you can create real change within yourself is by actually taking the necessary steps to make it happen. There is no magical password that will turn you into a Renaissance man overnight. All of the necessary tools are available to you for success, all that is required of you is to take action. Find the ambition, discipline, and heart within yourself to succeed, and everything else will fall into place.

This exercise is something that the NLP community calls "modeling." Modeling is the replication of the genius of one person, by another. You're literally "modeling" the behavior of an icon or "avatar" of a certain field until you achieve the same or similar results as they do. Modeling is divided into two different forms, "internal states" (neurological) such as beliefs, values, and strategies--and "external states" (behavioral) such as body language and dialect. The most immersive forms of modeling incorporate the observation and replication of both internal and external states, as opposed to just one or the other.

To illustrate how modeling works, I'll share a personal example. I used to be the absolute worst white knight you could ever imagine. Don't get me wrong, my SMV is pretty solid, but I white knighted so hard it was ridiculous. It was so bad to the point where I was not getting laid at all, and because of that, I became depressed and finally decided to change. I didn't know it at the time, but this simple desire to get better with women was going to supernova into a fiery self-improvement inferno that would change my life forever. I shit you not, I changed from a white knight, drug-addicted pussy...into a rock solid D1 college athlete, drowning in HB snatch, in just a little over a year. All I did was systematically isolated each individual negative neuro-linguistic pattern one at a time, eliminated them from my personality, and replaced them with modeled states from people whom I admire. I started by modeling myself after famous athletes, philosophers, and historical figures and then moved on to the PUA guys once I felt I had a solid foundation of positive neuro-linguistic patterns to build from.

After isolating the negative patterns, room for positive patterns opens up!

So How Does Modeling Work?

The reason why the modeling exercise is so effective (when done for both internal and external states), is because it is literally the recreation of a winning formula. Modeling has a wide variety of applications, ranging from simply understanding the behavior of a specific individual better, to actually performing on their same level. Modeling is a natural inclination for human beings. Beginning from infancy, human beings tend to model their behaviors after those of their parents. By applying this same principle to any desired field, and remaining consistent, then you can actually yield the same results as the individual after whom you are modeling.

It is a bit more difficult to model the internal states of somebody than it is for the external states. This is because internal states are not directly transmittable from one person to another, rather, they must be indirectly transmitted through language. A good example of modeling an internal state is by investigating the icon or avatar for their beliefs and values, then adopting these beliefs as your own.

External states, on the other hand, are directly observable. All that is required for external state modeling is adequate sensory awareness to fully observe the behavioral patterns of the icon. From there, it is as simple as replicating those patterns for yourself. A good example of this would be learning the habits of a professional athlete, and following a similar training schedule and using similar techniques when competing.

Over time, you should find that the modeled states will create novel experiences for you. As these new experiences build around your modeled neuro-linguistic patterns, you will essentially be programming your personality into a positive feedback loop based on achieving excellence. You will begin to experience greater and greater successes, and at a certain point (again, it takes about 2 months for each pattern, for me personally) the modeling will no longer be "modeled behavior," but will actually be part of your identity.

Modeling can be explained in three steps:

1. Investigate an exemplar for their internal and external states.

2. Model yourself after them by replicating these states until a desired result is achieved.

3. Gain experience with these modeled patterns until they become programmed as part of your personality.

Conclusion

Part III is about moving away from the "blank canvas qua personality" mode and filling the canvas with the vibrant colors of excellence. This is done by modeling one's thinking and behavior after an idol or exemplar until they are seeing similar results. It is also about internalizing the new patterns until they become second nature.

There are a few questions that have been sent to me that I would like to answer, as I think that the community could benefit from reading them:

How can you "look at a thought" if you are using thought itself?

This is a practice called meta-cognition. The basic theory is that the mind is fully capable of making sense of its own patterns. For example, if an individual has a tendency to associate everything on a metaphorical level, they might be able to make sense of that pattern. In light of meta-cognition, it is very possible for anybody to evaluate their own thinking, alas, thought itself is something we have yet to fully transcend, so thinking about thought is the best we can do for now.

I have a chronic masturbation habit that I developed around the age of 12 I'm now 25. I would like to know will those same techniques work for me in this problem? Also do you have any suggestions?

The brilliance of NLP is that it is designed for the individual to find what works best for them personally. Yes, if you maintain the discipline and consistency to actually change your neurological and behavioral patterns--follow the exercises--you will achieve the desired result.

On a different note, one thing I've noticed with masturbation is that men are, for some reason, programmed nowadays to feel guilty about their sexual urges. Your testosterone levels are at their highest from the ages of 12 - 25, so it's completely natural to want to beat off a lot. Again, if you do want to delete that pattern from your personality, simply follow the exercises without giving up and you will find success.

I hope that you've enjoyed this, for additional NLP insights check out the book Frogs Into Princes: Neuro-Linguistic Programming by Bandler and Grinder. For insights about dealing with unchecked emotions, pick up Letting Go: The Pathway of Surrender by Hawkins, M.D.

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