A little over two weeks ago, I was feeling sorry for myself and posted this.

I started working out and taking in a high protein diet and kept on trying to "fix" myself. I'm seeing small (and I mean SMALL) improvements in appearance, but hey its only been 3 weeks and I feel pretty happy after a good workout. I went on a few dates with several girls between February and May and during many, if not all of them, I felt pretty blue pill. I didn't feel like a man, I felt like a little brother tagging along. Eventually I learned to just get over myself and I more or less didn't allow that thought enter my head. The insecure feelings came after I started reading "No More Mr. Nice Guy" and started going on this subreddit because as I explained in my post above, I realized that I was very inadequate compared to the typical alpha-male.

This semester I started talking to this really stunning persian girl from my class. We hit it off instantly but when I first met her months ago, my insecurities got the best of me and I thought "shes too good to be true, she probably has a boyfriend already, she is too good for me, why would a girl like that date me?, etc." Keep in mind the class only met up once a week, so we would only talk for a few minutes between class every week.

As the semester was coming to an end, I realized something interesting- This girl was totally into me. I didn't really pay attention to her because, again, my insecurities, but I noticed she was constantly looking at me. I could sense that she really wanted me to strike up a conversation but I was too busy trying to focus in class. I would make a joke and she would blush and giggle at the same time and look at the floor.

On wed. I decided "Why the hell not?" and between our usual after class conversation, I said to her "hey lets go to the hookah bar down the street from campus." She immediately agreed. I led her to the place and we sat down and talked for a while. I told her about my musical ventures and the weird stories I have from hanging around Hollywood and she seemed impressed and amazed by me. Our conversation was very fluid, there wasn't a single pause. We talked about typical stuff like school and we also talked about other stuff like our wildest sexual stories. She made it pretty obvious that she wanted me sexually too, she kept touching my face and and my inner thigh. Eventually I went and made out with her and it lasted a pretty long time. Later at night, we walked back to campus. I walked her to her car to make sure she was safe, said good-bye, agreed to see her again next week to celebrate the end of semester and the start of summer.

My point is, I didn't really do anything differently with her than with those other girls that I dated and I don't really look any differently than I did 2-3 months ago. The only difference between those two sets is I had a lot more in common with this girl and she seemed just as interested in me as I was interested in her. So does this redpill/ bluepill stuff really matter? I feel like I spent a long time over-thinking and over analyzing-silly stuff. She didn't care that I was short, she didn't tear me apart because of my small frame, she didn't care about my status in the social chain (yea I play in a band, but its honestly not as glamorous as it sounds and she knows that), and she didn't care that I was broke.

Any thoughts/ comments are welcome. Some of you guys have some pretty incredible input so I'd really like to hear what you have to say.