The presence of it in other people, that is. I assume you're a red piller. Which mean you understand the problem with having an ego and pandering to it.
I made a big mistake today. I had an uncomfortable confrontation today with my roommates. No big deal, right? This is cookie cutter stuff.
I made some big mistakes which gave me excellent insights into human behavior.
Mistake number 1: I'd been having a shitty day, terrible sleep, DOMS was hard and I'd been out all day. Cranky as fuck. This should have been warning red flag number 1: do not fight battles when your ego is likely to get involved. Now losing frame is okay when the other party is s random tinderella or club ho you're never going to see again. When it's people whom you live with, you'd do well to frame it in a manner that doesn't affect your convenience after.

I ended up qualifying myself, raising my voice, and partly losing my temper because I let my ego get involved.
It is much easier to remain in amused mastery and to be Machiavellian when your ego isn't in the way.

Mistake number 2: forgetting that most people do not like being told that they're wrong, delusional, or in general anything that would harm to their ego.
This is why dale Carnegie's books are revered: they cover this principle very well.
If you want people to listen to you, do not give them honest criticism. Only people without any ego can take honest criticism. Remember, the ultimate objective is to get what you want!
Most egos are fragile as fuck. Most people will take anything personally.
The idea of phrasing a question as a statement works, but not always. I think its perfecrly fine to phrase a request as a question if you are more likely to get it done that way. It's better to get what you want than to say it how you want.

What I should have done?

  1. Cool off. Run. Work out. Get in a better mood. And then hold this discussion. At the end, remember this. If you go to learn something and quit the class because you didn't get along with the teacher, it's your loss. Not the teacher's. You didn't get what you wanted. Sure, teacher might be a real dick. But I'm sure you understand the idea of a generalization.
  2. Do positive and negative reinforcement. Only negative sooner or later triggers the ego. Only positive and they think they're above you.

Critique is most welcome. Feel free to downvote, as long as you can tell me why you disagree.