Finding the root cause of arguments

RedPillScare · 2013-10-01T17:46:36+00:00

The author's conclusion is great, but the attempt was a bit poorly executed. Let me explain.

If a women is upset because of the types of blow up questions that the author states:

‘Why did you say hi to her first?’

‘I would never do that to you, you should have ignored her.’

‘She’s not even pretty.’

‘You know I’m already upset cause I thought you were checking out that other fat bitch on the treadmill and now this!?’

‘How would you like it if I said hi to an ex fuck buddy? I’ll make sure to do it so you know how I feel.’

‘You don’t care at all about my feelings, I’m so much nicer than you.’

‘Why do you have all these girls on your Facebook, they’re all fake boobed skank ass whores.’

Even after he calmed her down and talked to her later the author did not need to go through all of this trouble:

"I explained that I was simply being courteous, that no I don’t talk to her, but I’m not going to be a dick and ignore people when they walk up to me, and that if an ex of hers was in our presence I wouldn’t get heated if she said hi. If she left me there and walked off to talk with him then yes – I’d be pissed – but that wasn’t the situation I put her in."

You don't have to justify yourself to a woman. This is stepping into her frame. You are justifying your actions to her.

Rather, the frame dominant choice of action is to:

Tell her to calm down then you will discuss it. "I don't argue with people when they're angry. We can discuss it if you calm down." (Note: don't say I don't argue with women when they're angry because that may make them more upset).
After she has calmed down then you ask "Why do you feel that way about X,Y,Z." Remember, when women are upset they tend to get lost in their emotions. They are FEELING a certain way. This is why you should not argue with them when they are angry.

She steps into your frame to explain why she is feeling like she does.

Then, and only then, should you explain your reasoning because you are teaching her about your character.

"Ah, I understand how you feel, but this should not bother you because X,Y,Z. Do you understand?"

The reason for this is threefold. You state your understanding which is important for a woman to know. Then you tell her your reasoning to teach her about yourself, and then you follow it up with a compliance test question for understanding which holds your frame against what she may say next.

The generally like this conclusion but let me amend a few details:

Ignore it. Assume she’s just being a bitch, leave, and come back when the dust settles. Great for short term, emotionally devoid flings. Bad for budding relationships.

Ask her why she’s upset and let her talk it out – within reason. If she starts mouthing off and crosses your dignity boundary then by all means squash it, but give her the pulpit for a few minutes.

Don't "ignore it" as that tends to make women more upset. Quash it with your own frame by stating you'll talk about it when she calms down.
Ask her why she feels (not thinks she is) upset. Calm her down again if she starts to get emotional. Then state your understanding and teach her about yourself and issue a compliance test of understanding.

P.S. Conflict resolution like this works with not just females but males as well. This is also how you should teach any children you have too because children are easily caught up in their emotions as well.

onacho · 2013-10-01T17:19:00+00:00

"A woman will lust after you if you have the right attitude, look nice, and come preselected, but she’ll fall in love with you if – on top of that – you become her best friend."

...After which she'll go fuck the guy that simply tells her to shut the hell up in the first place.

Rumble_in_the_Jungle · 2013-10-01T17:38:28+00:00

What do you mean by become her best friend? I'm guessing you're not talking about shopping, gossiping, and having her cry to you about her one night stands?

Title	Finding the root cause of arguments
Author	adarkheart
Upvotes	11
Comments	11
Date	October 1, 2013 5:13 PM UTC (12 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/TheRedPill
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/TheRedPill/comments/1nitgz/finding_the_root_cause_of_arguments/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/TheRedPill/finding-the-root-cause-of-arguments.6981 https://theredarchive.com/post/6981

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