FRAME CONTROL SERIES - Expectation

redpill-hardmode · 2015-05-01T22:42:03+00:00

I like this and look forward to reading more.

I would add that expectations are most frequently contracted covertly in the form chore play and other acts for sex. However there are many more types:

Expectation of fairness Of recognition Of sacrifice Of loyalty

There are so many!

The best thing to do is to expect of one's self. Expect things of other people and prepare to be dissapointed. We have control over limited things.

divorcedbp · 2015-05-02T00:51:41+00:00

Disappointment, sadness and confusion are caused by the fact that reality usually does not conform to our expectations.

The key to a balanced life is to expect nothing, but aspire for everything.

OmLaLa · 2015-05-08T13:57:29+00:00

The best way to overcome issues with expectation v. reality is to be able to adapt to unforeseen circumstances. By that, I mean to not build your next step upon expectations, just like you wouldn’t fall backwards without knowing first someone was there to catch you. For example, a BP mindset towards a date would be prewritten conversation topics, responses, locales, menu choices, etc. The reason this never works out for the beta is because there are far too many extraneous factors constantly at play.

Say you want to order shellfish, base a conversation in your mind around marine life, talk about your time as a marine biologist, then seduce her in the French you learned while studying? Now say she tells you she’s allergic to shellfish and hates marine life in general? What many expectation-centric people will try to do is force the conversation back towards what they’ve rehearsed, they will come off as robotic and insecure, and it’ll go south from there.

The best way to prevent these unrealistic expectations is to understand the world around you from multiple points of view. If you’re a marine biologist and nothing else, you will only understand the world from a marine biologist’s perspective and only expect what a marine biologists would deem possible. If all you do is play video games, you see the world only as a gamer and expect whatever you’d feel a gamer deserves (unfortunately, sex isn’t usually on a gamer’s expectation ladder). If you try new things and attempt to see the world through the eyes of people who enjoy doing them, even if you fail miserably, your world opens, your expectations diminish, and your path to what you want/how to get it becomes clearer.

_whistler · 2015-05-01T22:19:57+00:00

I'm going to disagree with you based on some subtleties. Bear with me.

Expectation comes into play when you try to predict the future or have predetermined how an event is supposed to occur.

Prediction is too concrete a term to be accurate here. Expectation comes into play when you fantasize about the future, based on an idealistic notion of cause leading to effect.

A typical beta expects sex after bending over backwards and pleasing a woman. As we all know this is a losers mentality.

Expectation is probably the wrong word altogether. The beta hopes for sex rather than expecting it. To expect sex would be to assume attraction based on 'bending over backward', or supplicating behavior. The beta generally doesn't assume attraction, he simply hopes for it idealistically. I would probably choose to say 'anticipation', rather than expectation.

The problem occurs when reality doesn't align with their mental map of the world and the person is faced with cognitive dissonance. Shortly following there is typically an emotional reaction that breaks frame. You can believe that women pick up on this in a second.

It isn't cognitive dissonance, it's the shattering of an idealistic fantasy. Cognitive dissonance in men causes psychological pain leading to introspection; a shattered fantasy causes emotional pain leading to a tantrum, or 'breaking frame'.

My recommendation to you is that you ask yourself "how is it supposed to (happen/work/go)?" And what will happen if reality presents an alternative outcome.

This is solid advice.

We may have been told that the world works one way. We operate on that belief and we get by. But is the map we have the most effective for dealing with the territory?

The map is the same. The lenses through which we view it are different. The Red Pill is the pursuit of the clearest lens.

I like your write up, but you're not factoring in the emotional context of the masculine psyche. A purely intellectual view isn't consistent with reality.

Title	FRAME CONTROL SERIES - Expectation
Author	Redpillpoppin
Upvotes	22
Comments	8
Date	May 1, 2015 9:54 PM UTC (11 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/TheRedPill
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/TheRedPill/comments/34ka18/frame_control_series_expectation/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/TheRedPill/frame-control-series-expectation.32111 https://theredarchive.com/post/32111

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