TL;DR: How things were don’t have to be how they are, unless you’re unable to let go of the past. If you allow it to consume you it will keep you forever identifying with the ‘man’ who repressed his masculinity and played puppet to the female imperative.

Read the full article here: http://thefamilyalpha.com/2015/12/20/get-over-your-relationship-ptsd/

Who you are is not who you were. Too often I see posts where guys are saying, I was always the nice guy, I never had to fend for myself, Tell me what to do TRP…

As men you need to knock that shit off.

  • Your mom never let you play contact sports? You’re a fucking Man, sign up for a Rugged Maniac, intramural sport, or do some martial arts.

  • My wife/Girlfriend always denies me sex, I’m resentful & angry. She denied sex to the weaksauce beta-fuck you were because she was revolted by your lack of masculinity. She was doing what women do; don’t hate her for acting in accordance with her female biology. Instead, recognize that as of NOW you can STOP being a faggot and act like a man. What does your resentment (PTSD) of the past do for your current wellbeing and future self-improvement? You’ll get the sex you want when you’re a man who is worthy of the whore your lady can become.

  • I Lost X many years to a deadbedroom & repressed masculinity. Who gives a fuck, again STOP LIVING IN THE PAST. Let the pill fully dissolve and embrace the now and come up with a plan to move forward, only looking back to use your disgust with your former faggot self to get fuel to grind harder and never revert to ‘the old ways’.

Some of you carry the memories of your previous ‘beta’ self and it prevents you from actualizing your masculine powerful 'self', you're stunting your potential at becoming a powerhouse of a man who finds joy and comfort in the discomfort of masculine living in a feminized society. There are a great deal of posts on The Manosphere by both married & single men that share this running theme of that’s how it was so that’s how it is.

For the gentlemen who find themselves in this mindset, making current standards and expectations based off previous performance, it’s time to let go and just say ‘Fuck It’.

While researching Post Traumatic Stress Disorder and ways to identify those who have it and those who feign it I came across an article that discussed recognition and management of individuals who have PTSD from a senior leadership standpoint in the military.

One of the phrases that immediately stuck out from the study was, “Traumatic experiences in some individuals can lead to the development of several different disorders including major depression, specific phobias…stress, and personality disorders.’ As I was reading about the various traumatic events and often times repeated exposure to traumatic events that lead to developing PTSD, I thought about the repeated stresses that we, as masculine men in a feminized society are dealing with on a daily basis. Not only that, but what these repeated stresses to our identity as masculine men is doing to our psyche and ultimately what ‘disorders’ are being developed as a result.

Most men who are coming to The Red Pill, the various blogs, Married Red Pill, or elsewhere in the Manosphere have experienced relationships where they pigeonholed themselves to being a weak, emasculated man who is unable to lead his woman.

By simply accepting his place in this weaksauce society and trying to fit into the cookie cut mold that was laid out before him, he never truly developed a sense of his ‘masculine self’.

The Manosphere brings the female imperative to light, it provides you with the opportunity to take The Pill, and offers masculine men (and those who want to regain their masculine identity) a place on the internet in which they can 'share notes' on expressing masculinity and no longer repressing it. My blog and the many like it are looking to end the suffrage of masculinity and destroy the idea that we should repress who we are as men. Fuck the comfort of those around us, they do not give the slightest of fucks to what we take from life. Men are disposable, the least we can do it find joy for ourselves and knock be concerned with what waves are made in the process. You Do You, if that makes of other dadbod, feminazi, white knight fucks upset, fuck 'em.

When a guy stumbles across the Truth he begins to become enlightened to the reality of his situation. This usually occurs when he reaches his wits end after a sexless period and stumbles across The Rational Male, The RedPill, or anywhere else that Google brings up. This guy finds the site and he reads it all, recognizes how he fits the typical ‘Blue Pill Nice Guy’ mold then something happens. It’s like all of those past events that have formed this person & identity are viewed with disdain and shame.

We call this the Anger Phase and it is essential for true growth to occur.

There are two approaches that guys are taking when they wake up or ‘Unplug’. They look back on who they were and take the I will NEVER be like that again approach.

Or

They whine about the lost time and keep repeating, “I used to be somebody.”

Neither of these approaches are going to produce results. Both keep you looking back and reliving the moments of ‘trauma’. This type of ‘Relationship PTSD’ is something you need to address now.

After you recognize your tendency to look back to how things used to be, action needs to be taken to promote a healthy habit of self-improvement and advancement of your mental health in the now.

She denied you sex? She said you were weak? She cheated on you? You cried to her? She hit you? You weren’t allowed to do things without her? Blah, fucking, Blah...

I don’t want to hear it and no other man wants to hear about it either. Men Act, Women Talk Stop talking and start taking actions to improve your life or STFU. That was the past, that’s who you were back then. Do you feel you should be treated better? If so, then act like a man that people treat better. You will be treated according to the standard you accept. Do you want to know why my wife isn’t a bitch to me?

It’s because I won’t tolerate a bitch in my life and she knows that if she wants to keep me in her life, she has to reach the standard I’ve set – period.

As a man, you should command respect at all times. If you’re still acting like the butt-hurt boy who was cheated on or whose woman left for another man that she said was an ‘asshole’ and it makes you sad because you’re such a nice guy then you still suffer from your past and the PTSD of that relationship will keep you from breaking through that glass ceiling in your current or future relationship. You can have the exact marriage/relationship/life you want if you’re a man who sets the bar to that height.

Full Post: The Family Alpha - Get Over Your Relationship PTSD