Back when I first went through my break-up (which was almost 2 years ago), I immediately started watching and reading RSD material. I remember Tyler and Jeffy consistently mentioning "giving value" when you're with an interaction with a woman. I somewhat understood it, but I never got a grasp of what they were talking about.

Fast forward to last week. I'm currently taking improv classes every Thursday to improve my interaction skills with people. So my instructor started telling us about a game called "Yes, and...". The premise of the game is someone starts a conversation and then the other person adds something to the discussion, or story. But the part that really caught my ear was when she said, "you don't always need to agree with what another person is saying, but should always try to provide VALUE as much as possible".

For example, you need to look at the entire interaction as building blocks. So this would be an example of an interaction going nowhere:

Me: "Wow, did you see the game last night, boy those Cavaliers are amazing!" Someone else: "Yeah, BUT i'm not really into basketball, I didn't really care."

That person provided no value, no value was added there.

However, if an interaction went like this:

Me: "You know, I always feel like we're all living in this virtual reality world". Someone else: "Really? I thought I was the only one. I feel as if one day we all going wake up to a different life than we have right now." Me: Yes! I feel the same way! Do you imagine, how life would be if we could just create our own world? The way technology is evolving one day we just might be able to create the world we want. That sounds awesome but a little scary at the same time".

You see how in that interaction everyone is adding something to the discussion? The more you add the more feelings this builds within you and the other person. Because let's be honest, we love talking to people we have things in common with, so developing a connection makes it all worthwhile.

Now i'm wondering if this is what Tyler and Julian meant by value. Because one thing I've noticed about myself is that use alot of fillers in my interactions such as, "Oh, yeah cool", "Yes..", "Oh, amazing", without following up with anything else to add to that discussion.

So maybe that's my real problem??

This is just something I've been thinking about all day, what do you think?