How does TRP deal with this very common occurrence in the office...

Wargame4life · 2014-10-21T00:24:49+00:00

Personally and rationally/logically you should do what you do and never inform why you do it, if they think their flirting is working that actually puts you in a stronger position should you ever be at odds with each other.

Provided you are completely honest with yourself and know flirting has no effect on you, if she believes incorrectly that it does work she wont have to play a better game should you ever have conflicting interests as she will assume (wrongly) she has you in her pocket.

If she knows she has no power over you she will try other routes or other parties to try and get the power/influence she needs.

Smart people genuinely let other people think they are taking advantage of them, because it masks the reality of the real power dynamic.

FortunateBum · 2014-10-20T22:06:03+00:00

I'll just give you my opinion of how women almost always respond.

Women won't do shit for anyone, ever. They're the ultimate hustlers. Unless they get theirs, go fuck yourself.

One way they get men to do shit for them for no compensation is by turning guys into orbiters. That is, holding out the pussy as bait, which is what you're describing.

When women get requests, they almost always go with

1(a)-- I refuse to do, or agree with, what she's asking me because I cannot do it.

"Oh gee, I wish I could help you, but I can't because... otherwise, I'd TOTALLY help you!"

Why do women do this? It's yet another manipulation tactic. It's an implication that they would do you a favor. (Pro-tip, they wouldn't.) They want to imply this so that when they inevitably ask you for a favor, you will have no logical reason to refuse.

There's a reason men have always done and asked other men for favors. "Hey man, could you do me a big favor?" It's because men usually understand that we need to do each other favors in this world to get by. Sometimes you just need help. And it's also good to have friends to ask for help.

Women do not understand these things.

They have a vagina and due to the vagina they have dozens upon dozens of orbiters at any moment willing to do whatever they like. Why would a woman ever return a favor when she can simply find another chump in the future to help her out?

Also, women don't give a shit about your company. Your presence is tolerated in order to get something out of it in the future. To women, you're a favor vending machine she puts time tokens into until she needs something.

Men have friends. We have people we like to spend time with. If we need help, we ask those people for favors and it's understood that those favors will be repaid because we genuinely enjoy these people and want to help them.

Women have absolutely no concept of any of these things. Never help a woman - ever - with anything. Women are natural con artists and to a woman, everyone is a "rube" to be manipulated, conned, and sucked dry.

Women naturally/instinctually understand these things and so will never ever do or repay a favor.

TRPsubmitter · 2014-10-20T21:47:10+00:00

Female solipsism dictates that anything involving her will be attributed to her as well. Basically, it's correlation versus causation. Women will believe that two things that are merely correlated (she flirted, you agreed) are ALSO causative (you agreed because she flirted). Not many women can recognize the former while forsaking the latter. In other words, the world revolves around them.

And I think your issue is interesting. Powerplay in the office. You have to maintain your status power there or women think they can walk all over you; they've done it to other guys for years, I'm sure.

You might want to read up on Powertalk by Venkatash Rao at http://ribbonfarm.com. Amazing blog full of sociological, economic analysis applied to the office.

In the meantime, consider asking for a favor in return. You may not have one handy at that moment, but maybe text or call later on and ask her for some bullshit task in return. I think it's called the Ben Franklin effect or something where your status goes up when you ask people to do a favor for you; they rationalize it as "you must be important if I'm doing a favor for you", because by doing that, they indirectly feel important.

And I wouldn't mention or accuse her of explicitly flirting. That is a ticket to a rape /harassment accusation against you, because women protect their reputation by passive-aggressive behavior (in response to your more direct behavior). And we both know you'd never win that.

So I would simply say something unexpected: stare with wtf face and say "....Why are you talking like that?..." Wait for her stupid response or denial. Then shake your head, laugh and say "Anyway, I can definitely do that task for you. See you around".

mademychoice · 2014-10-20T21:43:21+00:00

It's win-win, don't worry what she thinks. You don't need to explain your actions to anyone. Best result, she thinks she has you under her thumb. She underestimates you and next time you can say no, if it's advantageous for you.

I_Wear_Jorts5 · 2014-10-20T22:10:25+00:00

I think your frame is very important in these situations. Don't flirt along, don't joke around, etc when responding to the request. Give a blank stare, pause, then say yes or no. An old boss I had (ex college football player) used to handle flirtatious behavior from female employees in this manner and it worked every time. That brief pause resets the frame from "flirting" to "Why are you flirting with me at work? Let me help you with X task and we'll forgot this happened." Honestly, the brief pause has always been a powerful tool I've used in social situations to regain frame.

MLMIKE39 · 2014-10-20T21:32:15+00:00

If I were in your spot, I'd simply respond in a way that lets them know that I mean business. Just b/c they flirt with you doesn't mean that you have to respond accordingly.

There's a gold-digger in my office here that used to do all that crap whenever she came to my desk. I'd give her extra dry looks and responses just so that she knew that her stupidity didn't fly this way.

vandaalen · 2014-10-20T21:30:34+00:00

Do it if you want to, don't if you don't.

Something that helped and still helps me in a great way, is taking a moment to think about if I actually want to do it, make decision and then live with whatever consequences arise.

I wouldn't care that much about what the woman actually feels about why you do it. If you feel to uncomfortable with it you could always ask for something in return, even if it's just something small like getting you a coffee.

I am not familiar with American office culture, but here it wouldn't even be a big deal to call her out on it in a playful way. I do this all the time, but that's the frame I have established and there is no feminazi filled HR and things are actually a little bit better here.

I'd also make my decision dependent of how big of a favour it is and what I might be able to get in return for it.

As long as you do not do a thing with hoping to get something good out of it, without actually communicating it, there is no problem with "being nice". It's got to be genuine and not in the typical Nice Guy way, where you act nice and expect people to act nice in return.

flubberskin · 2014-10-21T03:21:45+00:00

Next time she talks to you picture her taking a huge nasty taco bell and beer shit. That look of disgust will let her know you wont be flirted into doing stuff for her.

sureshot8 · 2014-10-21T08:40:06+00:00

I'm a lawyer. You're a geek for your 1a/2a nonsense here. Loosen the tie, relax, and realize that you aren't doing anything RP in there, you seem to be a pushover who can't assert himself.

Title	How does TRP deal with this very common occurrence in the office...
Author	[deleted]
Upvotes	7
Comments	16
Date	October 20, 2014 9:16 PM UTC (11 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/TheRedPill
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/TheRedPill/comments/2jtnwe/how_does_trp_deal_with_this_very_common/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/TheRedPill/how-does-trp-deal-with-this-very-common-occurrence.23317 https://theredarchive.com/post/23317

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