How to establish subtle dominance

Establishing dominance builds strong attraction. However, it's so easy get it wrong. Be a little bit too cocky, too demanding, do it too early, be too try hard, a little too uncalibrated, do too much of it, and she loses all interest at once, because you're one of "these" guys.

Fortunately, there is a way to almost completely circumvent the above mentioned missteps.

Let's first look at the 3 most common mistake that will prevent a man from establishing dominance and then the 2 solutions to establishing dominance.

1. Trying to establish dominance too early.

Like everything in game, you need to escalate it. Start small with something like "I like that", then you can say "I only like that a little" with a grin, then "I don't like that". More on that in part 4 and 5.

2. Trying to establish dominance before having displayed any sort of value.

A woman that has seen your value and benefitted from it, will love you being dominant and embrace it. A woman that has only known you for a minute and hasn't seen some demonstration of value yet will not give into your frame. Women don't submit into the frame and don't follow the lead of a man who isn't valuable and who she isn't sure of if he knows what is doing, because it can lead to her her ending up in danger.

She will only submit into a man's frame, accept his dominance and follow his lead if there is significant evidence that he knows what he's doing. Just "being confident", faking it and trying to be alpha doesn't cut it. She needs a bit of back and forth to test your frame and make sure that it is solid beyond reasonable doubt.

Sure, you might be able to impress her with an strong alpha opener, but this doesn't work often except you catch the girl when she is horny, in an extremely good and playful mood or if she is extremely confident. In all other girls, a very direct opener intimidates them, backfires and reduces your chances by 90% immediately.

3. Trying to establish dominance on something big without having established dominance on numerous small things before or on small things without building comfort or rapport first.

Examples are

• Saying confidently "give me your number" or "let's get on a date" after having been nice and reserved for 20 minutes. It feels out of the norm to her, unauthentic and she is unlikely to give you her number.
• Trying to be very dominant on small things that don't really matter, without playfulness.
• Being dominant all the way through, without building rapport and some comfort

4. Solution for cold approaches

This brings us to a way to circumvent all of these points of failure, by establishing dominance on very small things that don't really matter in a playful way, after having built

• Some rapport
• Some comfort
• Thus shown that you are not a weirdo
• Having received some IOIs from, i.e. confirmation that she likes you a little and is thus being a little invested in you
• Having made her laugh a few times

This usually takes around 10-20 minutes until she knows that

• You are not a weirdo
• You have decent social skills
• You have value to offer and even more value that she has not seen so far
• You are able to talk with women without much difficulty and thus you aren't a needy fuck and you probably have some amount of abundance and experience with women. Maybe you can show her something that she hasn't gotten to know yet.

Once, she is aware of these things in some way at least, you can start ramping up the dominance, but go easy and couple it with playfulness, and some push and pull, especially at the beginning. This is very addictive to women, because very few men are able to do that. They are either shy betas or hurr durr alphas without calibration. Here an example

• So liked talking to you
• Her: Yes it was nice
• You seem like a nice girl or a bad girl I don't know grin
• Her: Tehee if you think so
• I maybe shouldn't get involved with bad girls probably
• Her: Yes maybe you shouldn't
• Or maybe I should. You're gonna get me in trouble.
• Alright trouble maker give me your number and let's see what you're made of

Here, you can see how there is quite some dominance talk when asking for her number, probably scaring her a bit but also impressing her, because it is very dominant. If you had said something like that without any build up, she would've rejected you, because a girl is to be wooed and courted and a girl that gives her number up straight up without demanding any value from the man is a cheap girl. Girls don't want to feel cheap.

Other subtle domination strategies in cold approach that almost can't backfire are

• " I think I like you" is dominant because a statement of intent is dominant. Adding "I think" prevents her from losing interest because she now has to chase your full validation.
• "You're cute", because it makes her feel small and somewhat inferior without offending at all.
• Qualification, because it puts you in the somewhat superior position of screening, e.g. questioning her choices in life playfully with some misintepretation. "Hang on, so you're saying you became a doctor, because like cutting people open."
• Making her the aggressor, like in the doctor example gives you more room for "fighting back" with dominant statements and "defending" yourself against the aggressor, e.g. "Look if you think you can do do experiments on me, I'm really strong." and grab her arm and show her how "strong" you are. That assumes that she is being a bit cocky with you already of course.
• Saying "No, no, no, no" in a playful manner and loudly when she says something a bit off or that you disagree with. Make sure to follow this up with something funny or witty.
• If she gets cocky, this is very helpful. This changes the dynamics and allows you to become cocky funny as well. That doesn't happen that often, but gives her the opportunity to feel empowered and not intimidated.
  
• Another example, which you can say when she teases back with eagerness: "Listen young one, if you think you can make fun of me as you please...you are probably right/I become very aggressive...haha just joking I'm very tame/we're gonna have to have a talk about manners." As you can see, it doesn't really matter what you say, as long as you say "Listen young one", which is very dominant and gives her tingles. You can pair it with a beta sentence, alpha sentence and a release or somewhat dominant but not sexual sentence.

These are a few examples of how to establish dominance in a cold approach. Don't overdo it. Cold approaches are shaky encounters, a girl can quickly dismiss you if she feels a slightly uncalibrated vibe when she isn't invested. Make her invested with rapport, comfort, fun, then sprinkle in a bit of dominance to see how much she likes it and recalibrate for a bit more dominance talk or less depending on how she reacts.

More investment also allows for a bigger margin of error, she will forgive more the more rapport you've built.

5. Solution for non-cold approaches.

This is the easy part. It is with girls you have known for a longer time, in your social circle, second dates, fwbs, co-workers, friends, friends of friends.

Since with all of these girls, rapport and comfort is already built, assuming you have't fucked up with trying to be alpha and dominant without calibration in the past. If you have, go back to building some rapport and comfort, showing that you're not a hurr durr alpha sperg.

If you haven't, you're in the best spot. This is the case for all guys who have been rather beta in the past. They know quite some girls who are like friends and who they can joke around with, but there is no attraction. You can change that with just a few interactions. In the following a couple of exampes for girls that are acquaintances or coworkers from level 1 to 10. Keep in mind that you can only advance a level if you successfully complete the current level through either her laughing or bantering back. If she becomes a bit intimidated, release the tension as described below.

1. "I like that (if she says something smart). You know what you're talking about" with a affirmative smirk. Most guys are afraid to state their opinion. Saying you like something puts you out there and shows that you aren't afraid to do that.
2. "Cindy, would you give me the pencil please " establishes dominance without any risk of failure really due to formality. However, you can't do this with your boss, male or female, because it is too playful and too demanding.
3. If you know the coworker better and you get along, you can say "Cindy, it's time you give me the pencil", "Cindy, I demand you give me the pencil."
4. If you joke around with her a lot, you're flirting a little with her already and you've already done the 2 above, you. can say "Cindy, give me the pencil immediately... or I will report you to the police".
5. If she isn't your coworker, you can ramp it up more if you've done the above already "Cindy, give me the pencil...or I will become aggressive"
6. If she banters back with something like "You don't want to mess with me", you can ramp it up with "Cindy, give me the pencil or I will become very violent and angry."
7. If she loves it and still doesn't give you the pencil you can say "Cindy, if you don't give me the pencil now, I will put you against the wall, search all your pockets and grab you in inappropriate places"
8. If she loves it and still doesn't give you the pencil you can say "Cindy, if you don't give me the pencil now, I will put you against the wall, pull your hair and tell you what a bad girl you are"
9. If she loves it and still doesn't give you the pencil you can say "Cindy, if you don't give me the pencil now, I will break the pencil, grab your hips and not treat you well"
10. If she loves it and still doesn't give you the pencil you can say "Cindy, I don't care anymore about your well being, I will take you to my house now and tie you up and interrogate you"

Alright, so this is going all the way. Only the very sexual, confident girls will go until 10, most girls will drop off before or give you the pencil with a smile or with a bit of a scared look. If she smiles, you can say, "you would really go all the way would you, bad girl" If she is a bit scared, say "haha no i wouldn't do such a thing, I'm a very well behaved and nice guy".

Conclusion

In all scenarios, you have established rapport, comfort, dominance, attraction and a man to woman vibe.

Be aware that you cannot start with level 5. You always need to start with level 1. Some girls will drop off at level 2, and you need to start again at level 2 the next time. Then maybe she wants to go level 3. Take your time.

But this way, you can turn friends into girls horny for you within a few interactions. It doesn't matter if there was no sexual attraction at all for years. If you do it like I described and you aren't going too quickly, you establish strong dominance, attraction and significant mystery, because you're not even trying and they have probably never experienced someone being so "confident" without trying before, without being blown off anymore and with almost no risk.

Furthermore, it is very easy, just don't worry about dominance at the beginning of the interaction, build a little comfort, be a bit beta, reserved, show some value, build some rapport, then do a soft level 1 and see if you can do a level 2.

However, most importantly err on the reserved side, do not err on the dominance side or in other words, if in doubt, pick de-escalation over escalation, let her think about today's domination and have a look at the next level the week after. Play the long game. Don't try to go through all levels in 1 day. 1-2 per week is already a lot, because if you go too fast, you will have a hard time to recover. Sometimes, a girl is eager to jump through the levels, but don't let yourself get tricked into falling into her frame. Take out the pace when she wants to go hard and say "we shouldn't talk with each other like that." Don't give her all the control for the pace.

Don't do this with girls that don't like you. If she doesn't like you, trying to be dominant will backfire, except maybe you have high status.

Keep in mind that this doesn't work with males, except they are real betas. All other men will feel challenged and reject your dominance or feel as if you are hitting on them.

Finally, subtle dominance is pretty much the only way to establish dominance with women. If you start out trying it directly, they will call you out, lose interest, because it is clear that you're trying to impress them or hit on them. The exception is night game, where you can pretend to be all alpha and the she is below you in a playful way and they love it. Also, some girls don't mind if they are really into you and you aren't trying too hard and they submit directly or if they are really dominant themselves and a bit bitchy.

For everything else, it is completely inappropriate and will get you fired, looked down upon for your inability of judging social dynamics and excluded from social circles.