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[–]Senior ContributorSkorchZang6 points7 points8 points 11 years ago* (1 child) | Copy Link
Let me paint you a picture dude, everything will make perfect sense if you think on this.
Picture a shelf in a pharmacy. Different feminine products are on sale therein. Woman after woman walks up to the shelf, picks something she wants, leaves for the checkout. You are going to be cast in the role of the feminine product, sitting on the shelf.
Nobody's picking you, so you wonder what the fuck is wrong with these women? Or with you? Your package isn't the best, but it's alright. You have decent female-acceptable bluish colours, and the product inside is pretty good - it really does the job, the woman who buys you is not going to be disappointed. So what's going on?
You start from the assumption that you're going to get picked by passively sitting on the shelf or by improving the product quality. That's the entire problem dude. You think you can package yourself up all nice, and then women will come and buy it. Or, you envision becoming the best product you can be, and then women will come and choose you because you're genuinely the best available choice. You may truly work fucking hard on the packaging, and the quality of the product. It doesn't matter. If you don't understand how to actively sell yourself, how to conquer the market's desires and subjugate them to your will, you pretty much already lost.
Around here "selling yourself" is known as Game. A vast field of nuance and strategy to contemplate and adapt for your own purposes. The key paradigm shift you will gain from it has to do with no longer being a passive product on the shelf, available to any woman. You actively make yourself mysterious and exclusive, you hide the true nature of the product you're selling, you frustrate women on purpose in their search. This stops the women their tracks, being the kitty-cats they are, they are instantly curious, excited, the chase turns them on. Nobody cares about the product, it's the thrill you give her by making her chase that she wants! Then you turn most of the comers away, and work hard to vet the few you decide to keep around to make sure you're giving yourself away into good hands.
[–]CoriolanusRevisited3 points4 points5 points 11 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
I just don't know why after all this I still have these self defeating thoughts and struggle with self esteem. I'd like it if for once I could go out and feel good about myself and feel like maybe the cute girl at the bar is actually looking at me.
Self-esteem is based greatly upon a feeling of being a valuable person due to your accomplishment of goals you have set for yourself. That's why a person can derive genuine self-esteem from almost anything under the sun, from winning a chess tournament to starting a family to getting the corner office.
You feel low self-esteem because you have no history of accomplishing your underlying goal of attracting women. You have either one of two options ahead of you:
1) Genuinely stop caring what women think. For a healthy, virile 25 year old western man I don't think this is the easier of the two options, but it is certainly a viable strategy if you genuinely work at it. 2) Begin attracting women, and if we are to believe you already have your life on point as you've said, this essentially just means learning game and actively working at getting women interested in you sexually.
You would find the sidebar over at /r/trpGame helpful.
[–]tombreck2 1 point2 points3 points 11 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Start with building up a social network with high status guys. This will lead to interest from females as they start to see you in the same places over and over again
[–]LoWii 1 points1 points1 points 11 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link
The relation between attractiveness and confidence couldn't be stronger, they're nearly identical. People don't like you because you don't like you. Other guys who are more ugly/fat/poor than you but love themselves to death will absolutely be more attractive than you are.
Honestly, even working out and getting nice clothes and a nice haircut is more about making you feel better than making you look better. You look at the mirror, think "damn I'm hot" out loud and go out feeling like you can do anything. I think that's what you're lacking: self-confidence and self-love.
[–]smvking0 points1 point2 points 11 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Like others have elluded to, it will be in your best interest to begin by loving yourself. Everyone can have a hard time doing this initially, but you must practice self-love everyday. Self-love goes hand in hand with self-amusement. When you have make the most fun of any situation, in a positive way, people especially females will be naturally attracted to you.
Also, being that I have been in your position at some point, I suggest you not take life so seriously. Be light-hearted. Grind your nose to the ground when you are working on your mission, but also when youre just having fun, let yourself completely go. Abundance Mentality.
Here is a personalized list of to do's for you:
-Actively hit on chicks. All girls who look you in the eyes. -Take up a combat (ie boxing) sport, this will boost your confidence incredibly -Check out these people on youtube: Grant Cardone, Zyzz, Good Looking Loser. Watch their videos. -When you get girls numbers, immediately set up dates. Do not let their number sit in your phone.
It is good you're here looking for help, you are aware enough that something is wrong and realize that only you can do something about it. Be relentess in your pursuit to greatness. You got this.
[–]ModMachiavellianRed[M] 0 points1 point2 points 11 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
/r/asktrp not here. C'mon, read the rules.
[–]Maaahoney 0 points1 point2 points 11 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Do you have any style? If you haven't tried them yet, experiment with some hallucenagenic mushrooms or LSD. During my trip I usually feel pretty, well , ballsy. And afterwards you feel like you know something a lot of people aren't aware of. It's like going through an enlightenment and after ward it's hard to give a fuck. Bitches love guys that don't give a fuck.
[+]DarkSayed -8 points-7 points-6 points 11 years ago* (5 children) | Copy Link
I don't feel desirable.
Boo-fucking-hoo. Are you a woman? You write like one.
EDIT: I don't usually care about down-votes, but when did this place turn into a pussy-fest where we talk about our feeeeelings?
[–]longerdistance4 points5 points6 points 11 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
This is one of the few places that recognizes men's true position in our society. We should also appreciate that for some men that means life has been shit when it comes to women.
OP isn't just coming here for empty validation, he's worked hard on many aspects of his life and he's clearly willing to work hard to improve here too. We have the knowledge to help him so I don't blame him for asking here.
I understand where you're coming from though. Don't ask others to make you feel better, that's what women do, that shit has to come from within, even when you're feeling down.
[–]rkg-pua 4 points4 points4 points 11 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link
Very much disagree with your last paragraph. Men should be there emotionally for other men. Keeping all the shit bottled inside is what leads to depression and suicide. We do a major disservice to men in our society by telling them to "just deal with it, only women console one another"
[–]smvking4 points5 points6 points 11 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
Your comment is empty, your reply to his post offers no value whatsoever. What do you expect? We are men, we do not bring down men who are here for guidance. If you have some valuable advice for the man and others in his situation, then offer it, otherwise do not reply to the thread.
[–]DarkSayed -3 points-2 points-1 points 11 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
It's not empty. It's a straight up telling him to man the fuck up.
What has happened is that this place is now mainstream and attracting some really pussified guys. It's pathetic.
[–]1edwardhwhite-1 points0 points1 point 11 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
abundance mentality. I started by just walking around town and noticing every hot woman and keeping count. I lost count and realized how many women there are out there. That was the first step.
[–]byronshadow-1 points0 points1 point 11 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Go people-watching at a Wal-Mart. You'll feel like Brad Pitt or Rudolph Valentino compared to most of the men you'll see there.
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[–]Senior ContributorSkorchZang6 points7 points8 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]CoriolanusRevisited3 points4 points5 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]tombreck2 1 point2 points3 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]LoWii 1 points1 points1 points [recovered] | Copy Link
[–]smvking0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]ModMachiavellianRed[M] 0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]Maaahoney 0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[+]DarkSayed -8 points-7 points-6 points (5 children) | Copy Link
[–]longerdistance4 points5 points6 points (2 children) | Copy Link
[–]rkg-pua 4 points4 points4 points [recovered] | Copy Link
[–]smvking4 points5 points6 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]DarkSayed -3 points-2 points-1 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]1edwardhwhite-1 points0 points1 point (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]byronshadow-1 points0 points1 point (0 children) | Copy Link