[Off Topic]

To start this off i'm a senior in high school and the girl who I was talking to was a sophomore. She was the first relationship i've ever had and she was the first girl I ever really took seriously. What got to me was how much I lost touch with myself and I gave in way too much to the fantasy. I basically got lost in the sauce.

The first 3 months we talked it was like magic then by the start of the 4th it just was like a switch in her was turned off. She lost feeling then and there and the last month(We broke up a few hours ago) was such a drag. I basically was sad and insecure all the fucking time because I put all my energy and stress into trying to keep her happy and the relationship enthusiastic but it just wasn't going to happen.

I always knew about the Red Pill and looked into it a lot 2 years ago but I basically lost touch with it and I lost touch with myself. Everything I said and everything I did was based 100% off of emotions.

This isn't for me asking on how to attract girls as I don't have a problem with that. I don't really need to ask how to keep them as even though I would like to still have her I don't really care about it. I know I became a bitch. I became soft and really I became a beta.

When I started talking to her I lost my drive with my ambitions and my dreams as I simply stoped working for them and I just talked about them and I almost only talked to her and what irritates me is that I was weak enough to do that. After this I'm not getting in another relationship for a long fucking time and by that time I need to change aggressively.

Basically i'm asking for advice on what to do. I might sound stupid but really. Like The past 4 months have felt like a life time and this being my first this is just horrible. I feel so stupid for letting myself think and act the way I did. I basically just thought us 2 were special when in reality it wasn't like that at all.

It'd be nice to get some criticism and just advice is what i'm asking for.