Sorry for any grammar mistake I may commit, english ain't my native language.

I broke up with my gf a few months ago, but still, every single night I go out at night and get drunk I end up crying feeling hopeless and heartbroken. It's been months since she dumped me for being a beta (she didn't say that, she just said she still felt things for his ex-bf, but I TRULY behaved like one, just pleasing her and doing whatever she wanted, a hell of an emotional dependent person). This is crazy. I've been thinking of her a LOT, and when I say a lot, I mean every single day thinking of conversations, things that could have happened but never happened, things I could have done, and etc... This is getting out of my hands. Whenever I go to a party and get drunk, or simply drink, whenever I'm on my way home, I end up crying when I'm alone. Every time less, fortunately, but still. I definetly suffer of "oneitis", and I'm driving nuts. I have had no contact with her for a couple of months, which has been fine, until today. But I still think I miss her. I have had a LOT of dreams about her since we broke up, and since I decided it was the best for me to not remain our "friendship", a dream of her most of the nights. I just told her I didn't want to know anything about her, that we couldn't be friends.

I need serious help, I'm desperate. I can't get over it. I even got to the point to lie about my sexual life and stuff to people I know that will tell her, just to make it seem as if I was doing great and having great times without her, when I actually feel as I needed her, which I don't, but the heart has reasons the mind doesn't understand.

Help me, please. I've been feeling like this since she dumped me (it's been months), and I can't focus on my own life and my goals because I don't know how to ignore her existence, she's in my college class and will be for a few more years.

I'm writing this as I just got home from a party, and I'm done with this situation. I've been reading this reddit for months, I've been watching a few coaches videos and stuff, and it did help me, but eventually I come back to the same point, feeling bad as hell.