Summary :Use your body language to establish yourself and use the quite people to your advantage

Following on from Archwinger’s ‘Be a social dynamo so she doesn’t have to be post’ and /u/Blaat1985 post I thought it best to explain general social dynamics from a different successful perspective

I’m a disabled stutterer....

What an introduction

Despite this I’ve been popular with guys and girls, cold approached successfully and I’m generally well received by groups of people. Let’s dive in at the deep end.

Frame:

This might sound like hippy bs, but you have to stand tall and strong – look like somebody worth respecting, someone of value.

To be frank – display an imposing frame. When sitting open up your body, arms relaxed by your side.

When walking either focus on something in the distance that’s near where you want to be OR take in your surroundings, maintain good posture and look like a man on a goddamn mission! (even if you’re just going to the store to buy Ben and Jerry’s)

As a kid in class – my speech impediment had me scrunched up in a corner trying to hide in broad daylight so the teacher/ classmates/even my friends wouldn’t push me to talk

This was weakness stemming from my thoughts affecting my outward appearance and my poor outward appearance affecting my thoughts

It’s a positive feedback loop – baby steps – break the loop through body language.

The man of the people:

Every man on this earth has his story – even the dull and ignorant have something to teach you.

You’re trying to become better at socializing? Easiest place to start: The Quiet people

Nobody pays them attention, so they want it, meaning they will be more accepting of your friendship, plus they can help you with work and generally offer a different perspective on events

Remember what I said about being a man of value?

As a man of value, you choose to give value.

By engaging the quite people you make them feel like their worth something – you give them confidence, do you know why?

You could have been quite and forgettable like them, but instead you say fuck that and you talk/listen to them – you could have bullied them (such Chad behaviour) but instead you chose to be friendly

Listen! If you don’t know what to talk about shift the focus onto them

‘How’s your week/weekend been?’ – Always a solid starter People love talking about themselves - especially quite people, some of them talk for ages once they get going- just agree and amplify smile and nod. It sounds basic but these are key principles, add your own spin to make it feel natural

‘Wow this dude is a good listener, he’s actually interested in me!’

Man of the People…. Don’t forget that…

Do this to the quite people for practice – however if you should become more popular don’t ignore them – you have nothing to gain and have just lost a potentially helpful social contact.

Then do it to the other people in your classes, this is easiest to do when people are by themselves. (Also a good rule to follow for sets, their more vulnerable and are just happy to see a friendly face)

People can be very different/dismissive when in their normal social groups – so to avoid getting blown out, try to engage somebody else in their group in a similar way.

Then when you see them both in their social group you can engage them both then they should kindly greet you – from here greet the other people in their group and you’re golden.

I'm a busy guy,plus this guide has to be in depth to help you understand each stage - but if even one guy tells me to continue this guide I'll happily do it.