~ archived since 2018 ~
Popular
Other
killeronca
[–]Markman943 points 12 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link
The key to inner confidence for me was starting martial arts. Getting choked out an submitted completely trumps anything else that will make you anxious or nervous in your everyday life. Competition is healthy. Meditate and train hard. The Gracie family is a huge inspiration for me. When I'm feeling unmotivated and down I listen to interviews and watch some videos to remind myself to focus on any goals I have set for myself in life and to focus on having that warrior spirit.
Good luck my friend.
[–]Maaahoney 1 point2 points3 points 12 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
Lifting, career success, and cool hobbies are all to build up your lifestyle, but they will not guarantee happiness. Think about all the pro football players that kill themselves. People will hate your success, your gains in the gym, and your skills that you develop on the way. There is no guarantee that someone will like you. Except, you can always love yourself.
This is all mental. You have to control your mind. The good news is, you've identified that something isn't quite right and are seeking answers. Most people never bother to try and wake up. Start meditating. Control your thoughts. Any time you start comparing yourself to others and feel bad, don't complain. Instead, think about what you do have and be grateful. You're sitting here typing on a computer to people on the internet. Some people don't even have that privilege.
As for books and videos, I can pm you some.
[–]dsade0 points1 point2 points 12 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Think about all the pro football players that kill themselves.
There is a hypothesis being tested that this is the result of repeated concussions causing brain damage and a host of mental problems.
[–]TRP VanguardCyralea1 point2 points3 points 12 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
We all want some validation at some point. We're a social species, being completely indifferent to the attitudes of everyone is not possible unless you have some autistic disorder. Not being validation-seeking is different from being completely undesiring of it.
That said, Inner Confidence comes from the unshakable belief in your ability to succeed. You may not have a woman right now, but you know you could. You may not have a lot of money on hand right now, but you know you can obtain it.
True confidence typically comes from experience. At the beginning you likely need to adopt a "Fake it until you make it" attitude. No one knows how insecure you are until you display it. Look up how confident people portray themselves, learn to imitate that behaviour to get yourself going.
Eventually you will start seeing success in some parts of your life. You become the most fit guy in your social circle. You're the best at managing finances. You obtain a black belt. These successes bleed over into other areas. When you start to see yourself as a winner you start acting like one, which in turn assists you at winning in life.
After it becomes so cemented in your psyche you never doubt it. Literally no one could knock me down a peg today. I know what I'm about and what I can do. Words can't take that away.
Start working on your self-improvement, and start doing as many things as you can that will result in you being rejected. This sting of it will fade and eventually you'll learn not to give a fuck.
© TheRedArchive 2026. All rights reserved.created by /u/dream-hunter
[–]Markman943 points [recovered] | Copy Link
[–]Maaahoney 1 point2 points3 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]dsade0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]TRP VanguardCyralea1 point2 points3 points (0 children) | Copy Link